Judge — June 20, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOSING A GRAND OPPORTUNITY. se HENDERSON has no sentiment,” said Martie. Don't you think he has?” I refused to marry him, and he hasn't plunged madly into dissipation, or done anything to show that he is a blighted being.” “No, THE MYSTERIES OF CLUBDOM. Primus —" How is it a fellow like him wasn't black- balled by a club of this sort?” Secundus —" He was one of the organizers.” “ CIGARETTECUTE.” A speedy and painless mode of executing our criminals, MUST BE CONSISTENT. * remarked Jones to the seconds of a man whom he had unin- tentionally offended, and who had called to make arrangements for the duel, “Twill fight your principal with swords, pistols, ér any other weapon he may select; but I must insist on one condition—on no account must a drop of blood be shed. 1 have just joined the anti-vivisection society.” CONSIDERATE. Spiggit (who stutters) —" Y-y-y-you are a ff-f-fraud, sir.” Gargoyle—“Confound your impudence! If you didn’t stutter I'd make you vallow your words.”” ‘Spiggit —" What d-d-difference does that m-m-make?” Gargoyle— I'm afraid you'd choke on the hyphens.” A FEMININE BULL. Ske (on bridal tour) —" George, have you been smoking all this while? Fan me, SARCASM. please. Don’t you feel how hot the car is? There, I've dropped my handkerchief too.” . Mas. Senmirs man oe pack) — ing, there! We He—* Haven't you been admiring this grand scenery ?” don't want no jers ‘round here. Te aa 2 fs Cones—""t haf some English grammars mit me, ma'am, She—"No; I've been thinking how much pleasanter it would be for people to Mebbe you could use van of dhose.” take their bridal tours while they were engaged.” THE HINDOO AND THE WATERBURY WATCH-SPRING, iy | PUSS w Ode | 4 RB] LATEST AvaTou 23 I mummy- = il " suvehweSat JUST Prcovenep) STE DNV AW 4 Wy \ comicbooks.com