Judge — June 20, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HE COULDN'T STAND IT. Mrs, DexsLow—"' John Denslow, take your head right out of that vase ! JOUNNY (in a smothered tone) —"* Miss Pettigrew jest said T waz th’ to be seen.” HUM OF THE COURT. HE LATEST 1 ING “Lend me a nickel. All my money is locked up in the little dime , gs bank. E KNOW what fame is when we see Garfield's face attached to the advertisement of a patent medicine. ‘+ EVERYBODY LIKES useful girls’ a lady writer. and she needn't be so overwhelmingly useful, either. THE BURGLAR who is grieved because he was c not get himself sick: every day. DOUBTLESS the self-styled defenders of the northern wilderness are right; but it does seem odd that of all the world the Adirondacks should be the only section denied the privilege and profit of a boom. True, true; ught by a woman need Better men than he are caught by women SHE HAD TO Say IT. Mixcitey—"T took the liberty of bringing you a little fruit, Miss Salaway, to go with my ‘bon voyage.” Miss SALAWAY—"' You're awfully kind, I'm sure. : ¢ the only friend who has suggested that it isn't a good plan to eat too much at sea, What do you mean?" in’ image of Grandpa Woolback, an’ I'm ‘shamed LET US be carefut to use the right word. “You must not say,” said, for instance, the man who had run off with his neigh bor’s wife, “that I eloped with or abducted the woman. Upon my soul, I merely borrowed her.” HE MAN who invented a new poison was obliged by his king to swallow it, and it worked well. Assassins and con- spirators who undermine our jury system must not complain if they suffer from the kind of law that follows it. THE HORROR of not being able to conscientiously con- demn two-thirds of the world to everlasting punishment, sentence to that effect having been de- cided upon before the two-thirds were born, is causing agony that must unavoidably be viewed with alarm. HIS VERY FIRST PATR. Le—"'T wouldn't wear my gloves at dinner if I were you, & PulLemon —'*'Sh-sh, Angy! I've been a-watchin’ folks all day long, an’ I can't make up my mind when it shocks ‘m t’ sce plain hands an’ when it don't.” A ARTICLE in the Washington Post declares that the presi- dent's ideas with regard to Behring sea and continental politics are identically those of Mr. Blaine, and have becn for editor of the Post evidently wants to have it suspected that the article is “inspire ¢¢ EVERY COLLEGE in the land,” says the Elmira G these days is a Democratic recruiting-statiot long thought that the colleges of these days were given up too ex- clusively to ancient history; and yet they did have collegiate Demo- cratic recruiting-stations with new ideas down south some twenty- five or thirty years ago. S¢GOUL-REAPING,” says the lady editor of the Santa Clara Valley, “is the actual vocation of the editor, whether he realizes it or not.” It used to be, dear—it used to be; but of late years the waste-basket is entirely devoted to rejected contributions, and souls and farm-produce are-no longer taken on subscription by even the countriest editor, We have comicbooks.com