Judge — June 6, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A PEACE- OFFERING. Parson BLackstone—"Chickuns agin fo’ dinner, Br'er Ramrod? Dat doesn’t look berry good aftah yo' only j'ined de chu’ch fas’ Sunday.” Br'er RAMKOD—" Well, pahson, I kinder reckoned yo'd be comin’ round heah to help me wrastle wif de ole man ob sin, so I raised a leetle contribution las’ ebenin’ so we could start on de narrew way sorter com{"ble togedder.” LEGAL INFORMATION. TIS said that the letters L. S. as heretofore used at the end of legal documents have given place in the state department to the letters B. S., since the Behring sea is become the place of the seal. THE FEMININE GENDER. HE gods may be satisfied with worship solely; not so woman. There is one thing sweeter to a woman than to possess; that is, to be possessed. It is easier for a woman to say “ Thy people shall be my people” than “Thy gods shall be my gods. If there is anything which a woman is slow to forgive it is a thrust at herself through the object of her affection. It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind with her gown, and her course of action with the influx of every tide. Ifa man would know all that a woman may reveal herself to be he should provide himself with a few determined enemies. There are some women who may always be understood as meaning what they don’t say more than they mean what they say. A woman would rather that her life-long happiness be betrayed by a worthy trust than saved through the vigilance of that base detective called suspicion. A born coquette will wave her eyelids at you from the hour of her birth, and the fact that you may be a woman will in no way alter the im- pressiveness of a gesture or a look. A woman who unites herself with another must lay away any misfit principles lest her tongue condemn or her pen contemn the one for whom anything save principle were well sacrificed. ONLY APOLLO. ss SOYVHAT a beautiful statue of Henry Dixey as Adonis you have!” she said as she sat in the green-room of the theatre. “That isn’t Dixey,” replied the manager. “That's only Apollo.” THE TABLES TURNED. First actress —" What is the sense of your getting a divorce? You are popular with your audiences.” Second actress—" Yes; but 1 intend to quit the stage and enter society.” SPONTANEITY. HE robin sitteth on a knoll and trilleth, While simple, whole-souled joy her spirit filleth ; But if for wage that robin's soul did swell Her song had not been sung so wildly well. REGULAR RATES. Young man—1 have a poem here.” Editor (alter examining it)—" Well, how does ten dollars strike you?” Young man—" That's really more than I expected.” Editor —" Well, we can’t publish such a poem as that for less than ten.” Doctor MixweLt (tho has asked Mrs. Whiffet to put out her tongue) — Sentiment, a clinging to past forms because they have been sweet, is ‘You say your husband is very nervous and irritable ? the strongest thing in the heart of a woman, Strongest because through that she clings longest, and by the rending asunder of these tendrils can be hurt most. kATIUNR GHOSpEAK. Mrs, Wittrret—"' Yes ; terribly so. But I'm not ill.” Doctor Mixw calmly) —"* | think I'll prescribe a long sea voyage.” Mrs, WiFi For John?” Docror Mixwett.—"'No; for you.” A MARVELOUS RECOVERY, comicbooks.gom