Judge — June 6, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 137 POST-GRADUATE STUDIES. BY OUR PRIVATE HYPOCHONDRIAC, HE is to graduate this year ; | READ in each epitaph this piece of advice, “If you would She thinks there's nothing more to learn ; have men speak well of you, die.” Calm, confident, not knowing fear, Every one is not a slanderer, but every one is liable to ‘The best advice she'd coolly spurn. be slandered. The law is more just; it punishes both the She's erudite—as far as books receiver and the thief. Can teach her of what is—but yet, We never seem more radiant with various excellencies Despite her, knowledge and her looks, ot character than when, as a matter of fact, they are all ‘She's only in love's alphabet. assumed; just as a set of false teeth is apt to be a thousand Fetes Ran) times handsomer than the natural ones it was made to In general and collective way ; replace. ‘The only man is rather dim— A MISCALCULATION. A fable, one might almost say. ovr darling should bear Katharine’s name But when love's primer ’s laid aside Decided we; but, such is fate, And Cupid’s reader is rehearsed, Twins came to us, and thus we had Calm in her knowledge and her pride, The one we'd named and—dupli-kate. With interest she will scan chap, first. ‘Then, printed books, adieu! Each age ‘The simple truth of this has shown, She'll only read the youthful page Who waits and kneels before her throne. She may accept—one cannot say— Young Corydon with shepherd's crook, Or throw love's testament away To take a calf-bound pocket-book. FLAVEL SCOTT MIKES, TOO MUCH AUTOGRAPH. First stone -cutter —"'Too bad about Mike, ain't it? They took him to the ‘sylum this morning.” Second stone-cutter —" What} is he crazy?” First stone-cutter —“ Crazy as a loon. His boss took the contract for General Spinner’s monument and wanted Mike to cut the general’s autograph on it.”” THE HAPPY SEASON. RANGE-BLOSSOMS are in bloom ‘And sunny is the weather, While bashful bride and blushing groom, With faces sad and full of gloom, Go on their tour together. CONSISTENT THROUGHOUT. ‘ ee o Roe Sat NOT FROZEN OUT BUT BURNT. “5 feo yShe is, es eee te) st nen Maun (to her wooer)—"* Weil, I hope papa didn’t give you a cold reception ?* She—NYes; she doesn’t even wear the same com- Bertiz—""No; he gave me a ‘roasting,’ but it amounted all to the same :hing. plexion twice.” Good-bye, dear." AN INEXPENSIVE ALTERATION, SreNcrimrinn —"' I vas open me von lager-pier saloon here und I vants me dot sign painded mit shoost so leedle oxbense le, And this is how he fixed it. Daveer—"All right, Dutchy ; I'll fix it now.” : comicbooks.co