Judge — May 2, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE SAD OCCURRENCE. AN! It was a Fifth-avenue slim who spoke. He looked as if he might have been a living skeleton who had lost a job in a Bow- ery museum by carelessly accumulating two pounds of flesh. “Fanny, why do you nevah call me by a pet name? I cawn't beah youah coldness. Tooby shuah me name is Wobinson, but how puffectly sweet it would be if you would call me by some familiah title.” “T have been thinking of it,” said the Juno-like creature. “Yaeas? He, he! I knew you had, deah girl,” chuckled the slim. “Yes, indeedy,” said she, laying her soft hand on his softer head with a sisterly interest. “And wa-at will you call me, Fanny?” and he snuggled up against the theatre-fly and giggled. . “ After mature consideration and a week's acquaintance I'am forced ircumstances to call you— Dennis.” There was a sound of torn canvas as the slim fell through the fly in adead faint. The’call-boy wound him around a broom-handle and car- ried him out as the stage-manager clapped his hands and Fanny struck the middle of the stage and poised on one toe amid rapturous applause. by TO AN UNDERSTANDING. . GREEN—"'T shall expect you to cook and do the washing and Nora —"* Very mum. An’ now, thot we may both know our places, what part av th’ wor-rk T depind on yure attinding to yuresilf 7” CHRONICLES. HE buds on the thorn-tree are swelling and the flats by the river are overflowed. The willows in the marshes bend lower as the sap mounts upward. The birds return and build new homes in old places and the sodden nest will decay beneath fra- grant boughs. All day and all night the rain descends from the sky. The earth feels it on her bosom and awakes from her trance, ‘The poet hears it on the roof and its murmur is like the voice of a long- departed childhood friend. Return, soft airs and gentle winds, and rejoic all ye people; for spring has come to pour her ¢ into your veins and scatter apple-blossoms on your eyelids. KATHRIN GROSJEAN. LABOR AND CAPITAL. Tramp —* Can you give me work Materfamilias —" Ves. \ pay a dollar a day.” Tramp hand it over.” Materfamil Ah, I never pay in advance.” Tramp —" Great Scott, lady! and do you ex- pect me to work for you in advanc Mr. Batpep: Mus, BaLpep—" It ‘ought to. AN UNEQUIVOCAL MISTAKE, Miss Fourcers (dropping languidly into chair)—"V'm sorry to be late in meeting my engagement. Is. the doctor at leisure?” FLABBERGASTED EMPLOYE—"'I'm afraid you've m-made a m-m-mistake, ‘Th’ dentist's office's nex’ door. This is Houseweller’s barber-shop.” lady, ONLY TWO THINGS LEFT. ¢4] F A PROMINENT man in England gets caught cheating at said Scaddleberry, apropos of the Gordon-Cumming affair, becomes of him?” “There are only two things he can do,” said Lord Noodleby; * mit suicide or accept a consulship somewhere in Asia.” “what HE WAS UNDER IT. With’a fiendish shout A youth crawled out : THEY were young and " sweet,” And their fond hearts beat In a closeness beatific For a blissful spell ; rT Then a gleeful yell From the sofa came terrific, y, We're even now ; hey, mister? is isn’t the she That jg ought to be; You're engaged to my older sister.” Ake FAITH BY EXPERIMENT. AFTER the services Sunday Lucile came home with one tiny foot dripping. You have been playing by the brook,” said her mother. replied Lucile, “I wasn’t playin’ by the brook. I twied to walk on the water, but I sunk right in, and I don’t believe God ever did it. (a Toy ‘WA CAUSE OF ITS SPEED. “Ha, my dear, this piece is making a wonderful run!" It’s all legs."" comicbooks.com