Judge — April 25, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LETTERS. HLERE in a jumble tossed upon my desk they careless spread, Baubles and trifes and dainty bits of the summer times long fled. A knot of blue and a yellow tress, a glove with a finger rent ; A visiting-card and a broken fan and } an cighteen-ninety cent ; ‘An amber bead and a filmy lace, a buckle off of a shoe ; ‘A violet pressed in a little book and a fair profile in blue ; A tin-type crowded with jolly smiles and a sea-shell from the shore ; Half of a perfumed handkerchief and lots of strange things more. They are the treasures of girls I've met in the summer days long fled, Tossed in a jumble on my desk and carelessly outspread. But one I met who never left a single gem to recall The hours I stood and walked with her adown the woodland mall. While others poured their gifts on me or listened to what I'd sing In fancy rhymes in my trifling way this queen she would not bring Her heart to greet my anxious plaint ; so I miss what I have not— The slightest bit of the slightest thing to outweigh all the lot. MoS. KELLER, A DEFINITION. {4 APA, what is a partisan plot?” “Tt is a conspiracy between members of the party to which you do not belong to do something of which the party to which you do belong does not approve.” WILL GET THERE. Cuvrcit FrieNp—"* James, I'm afraid you won't get to the lecture to-night.” Jases—" Yes-h I will, I'm going home,” COULDN’T TAKE A HINT. SO YVHAT is it a sign of when your lip itches?" asked Miss Cuddlesome of young Goslin. “It must be a sign of cutaneous irritation,” replied the dense young man. AN IRREVERENT YOUTH. Clubman (entering crowded horse-car)—"' Young man, why don’t you (hic) get up and offer me your seat? Have you (hic) no respect for age?” Clerk —" Humph! you're as young as I am.” Clubman —" But (hic) don’t y" see I've just drunk a bottle of wine (hic) a (hic) hundred years old?” NOT A CLEAR TITLE. Parson —" Do you think, young man, that when the time comes you will be able to read your title clear to mansions in the skies?” Young man—No, sir; I'm afraid there will be a mortgage of some kind on it.” Ss - z LIKELY TO IMPROVE ON ACQUAINTANCE. Sir Ricard Dupterase —"' You can scarcely imagit my dear Minty, with what indifference I look upon mone His France (contemptuously)—"" Never mind ; you it better when you have a chance of handling a little of mine. WHERE HE WANTED HIMSELF, ‘CYVHAT on earth do you want?” asked Mrs. Larkin of her hus- band, who, like most of the passengers, was suffering from ness, but was making more ado than any ten of them. Myself,” replied Larkin in answer to her question. NEVER ASKED TO “LOOK PLEASANT.” Spiggit —"The Chinese do not permit their women to be photo- graphed.” Gévvit—"No; they have quite an artistic sense. I have seen some Chinese women.” GORY GARMENTS. CLEANLY Grimesy (wating up suddenly) —" Hellup! Murder-r-r! Thaves ! Hellup-p-p! I'm kilt.” - Miss Bleecker — \ love to see a little boy in kilt skirts.” Swear WILLIAM (terror stricken) —" Fer hevin's sake, Grimesy! What's ‘Miss Emerson (of Boston) —" Yes ; assassinated nether garments %© 'oub'? Snakes?” Boston CLEANLY GriMesy (:0ith @ sigh of relief)—" Tank hevin—I was dreamin’ | are very becoming to diminutive youths. T tought I wuz bein’ washed.” comicbooks.com