Judge — April 25, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

36 HUM OF THE COURT. OVE IS READY to find the way in, but never ready to find the way out. THE GREATEST CURIOSITY —The man who is not the au- thor of * The Breadwinners.” T° FOREIGN POTENTATES —Keep your criminals at home or pay us the cost of sending them to prison or the rope. L=t US IMAGINE that Chicago is a part of the greater New York, and go to work to make the big fair a big success. R. KOCH is distressed because his lymph doesn’t work better. This will never do, doctor. Brace up. Take some lymph. YOU MUST always believe the man who says he has been fish- ing. ‘The proof of the assertion lies in the fact that he never has any fish. BERNHARDT wept for joy to find a man who could talk and listen to French, and when she left him he wept for joy because she had got through. WHY THE PRICE Iceman —"* Oh, yes, mum. ‘The SALOON in Helena, Montana, is called the Bucket of Blood, proba- bly because many of its patrons have kicked the utensil mentioned within its wa THE NUMBER of women druggists is increasing, particularly in the We are a reckless people, and rarely recognize danger until alked over us. west. it has THE WORST STRIKERS are the foreign cattle imported to take the bread from the mouths of native stri ‘The latter never use dagger and gunpowder. ‘The, former always do. [TIS CURIOUS that strikers who have n mind to murder and plunder should be so extremely indignant when the lives and property they are after de- fend themselves in their way MORE 1S ASKED in charity from the theatrical ther profession, and more is the only pro- n that is criticised with habitual in- ¢ by people who call themselves ex- tra good. WITH A WAR on our hands we would be one people regardless of party flines—one people from Maine to Florida and perhaps from Alaska to th isthmus of Panama, DP, $.—Not a civil war, mind you. T IS A curious fact, as frequently re- corded by the newspapers, that every bill contributed to charity is crisp and like- * Bess, you have kept me least six months I have adored you. see you in another's embrace— “Now, Jack, you know we arg too F young to talk of anything but non. sense, and besides — é et What ! ice so plenty this year and yet higher priced than ever ?” and don't yez see there was so much more to cut?” LOST COURAGE. wise new, and every woman who gets into a scrape is pretty. ~ How and why should this be? A BOY in Syracuse six years old tried to hang himself to an — apple-tree, but yelled for help in time to be saved. We trust he will be as wise in his effort at suicide when the tree is loaded with its premature fruit. OMEBODY says the best cure for grip is given in two words, “Don't worry.” There was a sher- iff who tried the same remedy on a man sentenced to death, but the execution took place according to the announcement of it. OME of the widows of soldiers of the revolution continue to draw pensions. The hardy veter- ans of those days must have had an average of twenty-four wives apiece, not to mention the several who died before they did. OME WOMEN in London feed their cats live sparrows. It is not cruelty, It is absence of thought. They love their cats so tenderly that they probably never imagine the birds have the slightest objection to being served up in that way. UNCLE JOSHUA is a calm, thoughtful man. His house had been burned and his wife killed, and thé scoundrel responsible for the villainy stood before him. “My friend,” said Uncle Joshua, chewing a I shall immediately bring an action against you in the justice's REMAINS THE SAME, cutting of ice was very expensive, mum ; T REALLY would have been a good idea, as presented by an English admiralty officer, to let Italy send her navy over here and “then collar it.” We need a navy, and a little hang- ing of foreigners who propose to break up our profound and comfortable peace is a lesson that foreign impudence wants. HE POMPANO,” says the always conservative and sometimes truth- ful B, W. Wrenn, general passenger agent of the East Tennessee, Virginia and Geor- gia railroad, “is a great fish, In Lake Worth, Florida, these fish are so thick that they have to jump out of the water to keep from being squeezed to death, and the fisherman has to keep waving shingles over his head so that they won't kick him to death with their tails as they jump over and into his canoe.” NEVER CHANGED. HE wives of Brigham still assert, As they have always sung, That though he died an aged man He always was quite Young. e in suspense long enough. For at T can never stand by and never ff" Jack! don't !!—act !!!—silly 1811 Jeaceks” comicbooks.com