Judge — April 18, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AFTER THE SHOOTING. Rep BILKs—"‘Anythin’ the boys can do for you, Artie?” ARTERIAL VANE, (tweakly) —"Y Plant me right in the entrance to the corral. Th’ ole \ woman's rode over me all her life, an’ it might hurt her feelin's to stop so sudden.” A MAN TO BE SHUNNED; OR, LED INTO A MISTAKE. (Scene: A farm-house veranda, Time : Sunday morning. Dramatis persona: Mr. * ‘Sailzman, traveling agent ; Mr. Mograss, his host.) Mr, Saileman—* What kind of neighbors have you got round here?” We see by the papers that Mr. Brodhed has made a lucky hit and hat, as he has invented an expansible hat that always fits, whether in a state of exhilaration or sober. Picture of Brodhed before a celebration, Picture of Brodhed after the celebration. Mr, Mograss —* Wa-al, putty much like we be, ‘cept Silas Layback, leman (after a pause) —“' He is different, is he ?” Mr. Mograss —" Ez diffrent ez night from day.” (Yawns and ap- pears to have disposed of the sub- ject.) Mr. Saileman—1s he—a col- ored person?” Mr. Mograss —* White ez you be; buta to be shunned.” Mr. Sailzman (having waited expectantly for some moments) — ishonest, I suppose ?” Mr. Mograss—"Ye're wrong agin. Nobody can't say he ain't honest.” Mr. Saitzman (after an aggra- silence) —" What seems to be his failing?” Mr. Mograss —" Licked my lsman —" Ah, 1 sce. An ungovernable temper.” Mr, Mograss —" Yer don't see nothin’ of the sort. Ain't got no temper. Never licked nobody be- fore—not even one of his own boys.” (Whistles thoughtfully and contemplates the distant prospect.) Mr, Sailzman (with profes- sional urbanity and perseverance) —" What occasioned him, then, to get riled in the case of your son?” Mr. Mograss—“ Didn't git riled. Licked Billy 'n’ smiled the hull time, Wash Hilton told me— ‘n’ on’y used his open hands at that.” Mr, Sailzman (after another long pause and feeling convinced that Mr. Mograss has no intention of continuing) —“ Mr. Mograss, would you mind telling me what reason this man had for chastising your son?” Mr, Mograss—" Didn't hev no reason, All his own fault for leadin’ Billy into a mistake. Yer see, Sile'd always ben so easy with the boys hereabouts, 'n’ Billy bein’ seventeen past 'n’ man big, he kinder didn’t think Sile amounted to nothin’, an’ tried to grind stones in his cider-mill ‘n’ bruk it. Sile he made some objections 'n’ Billy started in to lick him, ‘n’ failed. Billy made the mistake, but it were Sile’s fault fer leadin’ him into it. 1 hed a blame good notion myself to go over 'n’ give him a lickin’, seein’ as Billy didn’t.” Mr. Sailzman (admiringly)—" There would have been no question of failure in ¢hat case.” Mr. Mograss (thoughtfully) —" N-no. But when I kinder mentioned my views to Wash Hilton he sed that Sile sed he could lick me out of a forty-acre lot 'n’ my son Billy along with me, 'n’ if I knew what wuz good fer me I'd stay to hum ‘n’ keep my mouth shet. So I kencluded’s long’s he didn’t charge me fer the mill I'd let the matter drop ‘n’ shun him, 'n’ I hev.”” Mr. Saitzman—* And Billy, 1 suppose, does the same?” Mr. Mograss —" Wa-al, not so much ; he don’t hev the chance to. Ye see, that was five years ago, 'n’ Billy he’s married to Sile’s daughter ‘n’ Sile he's built em a house ‘n’ started ‘em splendid. That's all right. I got nothin’ to say agin that. He kin do what he likes fer his son-in-law; but L ain't fergittin’ that he licked my boy Billy.” MADELINE §. uRIDGES. COONVILLE POLITICS. Deacon YALLeRny — Beg pahdon, alderman, but I hab come as one ob your constitooents to ax a small favor.” ALDERMAN JOHNSING —"* Well, sah, what am de request 2” Deacox YaLte: Well, sah, to-night am de marriage ob my darter, ‘n’ if yo’ would lend me dem striped trousers ‘n’ de brack cutaway it would be a pow’ful obstacle ‘gainst hostile majorities. comicbooks.com