Judge, 1891-04-18 · page 5 of 16
Judge — April 18, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated satirical sketches typical of Judge's humor: **"Acquitted"** mocks upper-class hypocrisy: a gentleman caught cheating at cards is automatically declared innocent because "a gentleman would not cheat"—circular logic excusing misconduct based on social status. **"Cornbeef and Cabbage"** jokes about a waiter serving only meat, claiming the cigar (a luxury item) will come later—satirizing either cheap restaurants padding bills or absurd service priorities. **"'Twas Ever Thus"** is a romantic poem about unrequited love—a man courts a woman who loves someone else. **"Very Queer"** depicts a contradiction: a man who "acts natural" while destructively "smashing things right and left." **"Her Test"** shows a woman rejecting a marriage proposal based on a suitor's pronunciation of a word in ceramics—mocking either pretentious women or absurdly trivial relationship dealbreakers. The repeated dinner-table scenes (numbered 4-9) appear to illustrate the "metamorphosis" promised in the title, though the progression's meaning remains unclear.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A WONDERFUL METAMORPHOSIS, ‘A TALE IN NINE CHAPTERS. ACQUITTED. oe Wat did the club do when Chappie was caught cheating at cards?” “Nothing. They said Chappie, as a member of the club, must be a gentleman; that a gentleman would not cheat, and that therefore Chappie was innocent.” CORNBEEF AND CABBAGE. Diner — Here, waiter! 1 ordered cornbeef and cab- bage and you have brought me only the meat.” Waiter —“ De cigar, sah, will be on latah.” TWAS’ EVER THUS. A MAN is bending o'er me And all the time I listen Who asks but to adore me; My eyes with rapture glisten, His fondest love to me While drinking in his tones He's freely giving. So rich and mellow. He murmurs his devotion I understand the feeling, In tones of sweet emotion, And bliss is o'er me stealing, And swears that life alone For /'m in love—but with Is not worth living. Another fellow. VERY QUEER. f ty ud! HER TEST. Dr. Pille (at the station) —“' That baggage- i ! * Mr. Bleecker —*My adorable one! will smasher yonder is the most contradictory sort | a you be mine?” of a chap I ever met.” } Vi Miss Emerson—Do you pronounce the Mr, Parrott—Why, he acts natural ‘ te’ in ceramics hard or soft?” enough; he's smashing things right and LETTING HIM DOWN EASY. Mr. Bleecker —" Soft." left.” R Now don't say you'll be a sister to ‘Miss Emerson — Then | cannot wed you. Dr. Pille—"Yes; but he wears a chest- g already: 1 Our natures are incompatible. We should be is “Poor fellow! I'll have mercy. ke protector. won't be anything to you." unhappy. comicbooks.com