Judge, 1891-04-11 · page 6 of 16
Judge — April 11, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical items typical of late 19th-century American humor magazines. **"Procrastination"** is a romantic poem about a man who delays confessing his love to a church-attending woman, only to watch her marry another man—mocking male indecision in courtship. **"Unqualified Admiration"** jokes that a rural country clerk is impressed a policeman earns $1,200 yearly, calling him "the first rich man I've ever looked at"—satirizing rural poverty and the relative prosperity of urban working-class positions. **"What They Would Like"** references Irish nationalist leaders wanting England to tell Ireland to "go in peace"—alluding to Reconstruction-era debates about Northern/Southern reconciliation, applying that framework to Irish independence. **"A Glaring Error"** mocks a newspaper proofreader missing that a report should read "the policeman had left" (implying negligence caused trouble), not "had left no trouble"—satirizing editorial carelessness. Other items offer light domestic and travel humor typical of the era's Judge magazine style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
PROCRASTINATION. ER eyes were blue as bits of sky Between dark clouds when rain is past— So tender, friendly, sweet and shy; And, ob! the lovely light they cast Was far too beautiful to las:. I dreamed of ber both night and day. ‘At church I watched her as she knelt, And almost thought I heard her pray, So close beside her soul T felt— Where only guarding angels dwelt. I loved to see her come and go With modest step along the aisle; 1 used to think I'd tell her so— Next month—next week (oh, passion’s guile !)— To-morrow —in a little while. But, ah, surprise of keenest pain! When by another fellow's side Down the long aisle and up again She paced one morn in blushing pride, ‘That other fellow’s smiling bride. MADELINE §, BRIDGES. UNQUALIFIED ADMIRATION. Sitas Scraces (country grocery-clerk) —"* Lawks ! who is that powerful big gentleman in a blue uniform?” His crty cous h? What? Why, that’s only a policeman.” Sitas Scra An’ he gits twelve hundred dollars a year! Stop a minute, will ye, Frank; that’s the first rich man I've ever looked at in my life.” IT MADE HIM MAD. +8 WVHAT is Faber swearing so energetically about?” “He's cross because his article on ‘The Evils of Pro- if mpliyyepeeysy COME HOME TO ROOST. —"'I think your taste in head-gear might be im- 1—"" Don’t say a word, Mary. during the recent celebration.” A SAD DRAWBACK. = could be weasonably contented in New Yawk if it wasn’t faw one thing, Chappie.” “What is that, Cholly We have to use Amewican money, doncher know.” LAST AND LEAST. [8 THE spring the joker’s fancy lightly turns to things to guy And the same old annual features disappoint his eager eye ; The same old springtime oddities at which the jokers peg, Down to the careless creature with his whiskers trimmed with egg. THE BEST AND WORST. Tired traveler (alighting from train) —"* Which do you con- sider the best hotel here ?” I must have ordered it Drummer —“Nou see that building over there? That is the worst.” Tired traveler —* But 1 don't want the worst. | want the Drummer —"Thev | don’t know what you are going to de, ‘There is only one. TRAMP (confidentially) —" fiends,” fanity’ was crowded out.” WHAT THEY WOULD LIKE, Cumso—" The Irish nationalist leaders would like England to say what Horace Greeley wanted the north to say to the south.” Fangle—" What is that?” Cumso — Erin sister, go in peace.” THE MAN SHE IS LOOKING FOR. Mabel —* Thomas Shearman says the billionaire is coming.” Amy (eagerly) —“1 wonder if we could get Mr. Shearman to introduce him ? A GLARING ERROR. Madison Square—* How careless the proof-readers are on these newspapers. Now here is a glaring error.” Mrs. Madison Squar Madison Square —“ Why, this report reads, ‘The police- man, thinking there would be no trouble, had left.’ You'd think even the office-devil would have enough sense to leave out that ‘no. BARBEROUS would yez please gimme a bit o' pink ribbon 7" Bless me! What can you want of that?” “m sadly in need of a hair-cut, ad up wid de ribbon in hopes o' meetin’ one o' these little-gir: in’ T want to hair-clippin’ comicbooks.com