Judge — April 11, 1891 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. FRIEND is twice a friend in the presence of enemies. The controlling forces work from the centre of the ring. To be loved does not always follow in the conjugation of to love. The volume of a man’s laugh is not always in proportion to the sum of his happiness. It is well to give a man the credit of meaning something until he has proved himself to mean nothing. KATMRINE GROSJEA. FIVE POINTERS. TO PROVE 2 part may greater be Jim Rich, Jack Poor, pool balls select. Than is the whole need scarcely Said Turner, ‘* Rich, the pure and trouble you ; true, sir, z For, is the editorial we Are yours, for whom Ive-a-respect, Not less than part of it— the double- And ivory specked, Jack Poor, for you? you, sir.” 4 Should good Victoria e’er have passed Beyond the point of time called vital, “His Rexship Albert Edward Last,” Would be a most suggestive title. Observed a cute young Vassar nymph : “Despite that German doctor's gump- tion, Tt seems he’s not producing lymph Quite adequate to the consumption.” “ My generous hub supports,” said she, **A relative in some poor shanty In sleep he said, ‘I'll cal} ; I'll see Then sweetly murmured, ‘ Penny Aunty.’ Jow- ALwRO, lif’ a feller right off his feet !" Mx. A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE. Mr. Coonny Hoors—'' Why, sah, dat pahson’s eloquence would IMLY (glancing at the pedals confronting him)—"' Waal, ef he kin lif’ you off'n your'n, Coonby, I'’se goin’ to de meetin’ wif weights in my pockets,” us to keep her opera.” REFERRED TO SECRETARY BLAINE. Primus —" Oh, reciprocity with Germany is impossible. many doesn’t believe in fair pl Doesn't want to take our hogs, but wants ’ Ger- Secundus —" Yes. GIFTS ONE WOULD RATHER NOT HAVE. She—" Dora Goode is a girl of most tantalizing misfortunes. Blushing with ber is voluntary "— A QUEER DIFFERENCE. A sport. : A sportsman, NO EXERCISE OUT THERE. [§ THE Indiana natural-gas belt. sta Woman —" Now, you've had a good breakfast and I want you to shovel the snow off the walk.” Tramp —" You'll have to excuse me, ma‘am. The only exercise my doctor allows me is carrying out ashes.” A GREAT SUCCESS. Jones—"1 see that ten thousand copies of Miss Maud: Estee’s book have been sold within a month. You met her once, didn't you?” Adams —*Yes. Why, L never supposed that she would write an immoral story.” CUPID AS A MODERN MARKSMAN. g Emma—* Uncle Frank, I'm doing some hand-painting and I've got to have Cupid in it. Which is most appropriate to give him, bow-and-arrow or a dart?” Uncle Frank— Neither. Give him a toy pistol.” A BRACE OF FOOLS. O* APRIL first, a ycar ago, 1 wedded her, my faith to show, My eyes on beauteous Julia resting, But, ah! my ardor now is cooling — 1 spoke my love in accents | She never loved me; now I know But she said I was only 'Twas she who last year did the fooling ! jesting. He-She could make great capital out of that gift.” She—" Ah! but, you see, sh¢ can only blush with her nose.” HIS FIRST EXPERIENCE. FARMER SQUASH (mysteriously, to Wagner porter) —“* Say, has anybody complained o' losin’ a pair o' boots this mornin’ 7” Porter—"' Why— why, no, sir.” FARMER SQuasi—'* Wa-al, I left mine, covered with dust, under my bunk las’ night, an’ to-day I found these, all slick:an’ shiny. Don't say anythin’, boy ; an’ here’s half-a-dollar for ye.” comicbooks.com