Judge — March 21, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE IN A SAN FRANCISCO THEATR Souprette (from the cast)—" Murder! help! police THe MANAGER—"Calm yourself, my dear young lady. * How can 1? A man in the gallery threw a brick at me.” at's all right. ‘The gentleman was from Fresno, and the brick was a gold one, Wait for an encore {* HUM OF THE COURT. AN OLD MAID is a curiosity in Russia; but, now we think of it, so she is in Utah. JUSTICE being blind, we should think it would be proper to represent her with the scales on her afflicted eyes, [8 HIS EFFORT to attract attention our governor is prepared to offer large rewards for affronts to the Democratic party. THE ACTING of Mr. J. L. Sullivan was recently greatly elevated, it said, by the gentleman's non-appearance on account of some liquid incoherency. S. IVES, dealer in railroads, thinks he is as able to do a large busi- ness without funds as he was when he was interrupted in the begin- ning of the experiment. HERE IS to be an alliance of lumbermen with the purpose of obliging the government to purchase all superfluous saw-dust and get up a corner on toothpicks. ET US never forget that the Indians who recently visited Washington were too tender-hearted to kill the president, Secretary Noble, or any- body else. True they may have had pangs. A NEW ARTICLE is called water-proof rouge; and we have long thought that the Chicago woman had as good a right to weep with- out being ashamed of it as anybody of her sex. AFTER A TALK of several hours, the other day, Mrs. Lease of Kan- sas said all that women wanted was free speech. Will they be able to recognize it when it swoops down upon them ? CHARLES FOSTER has a very level head. He is not noisy and demonstrative, and he patiently bides his time. But the time has come—the man and the honor have met and embraced. MB. GOULD was so hurt when the governor of Georgia refused to meet him that he ordered a gross of porous plasters for his wounded feelings and went to bed saturated with grief and camphor. R. DEPEW would make a most excellent governor. Then, too, the governor of this state occupies a pedestal which affords a fine view of the white house. May be worth a passing thought, Chauncey. MBS. TENNANT mourns for the sweet, lovely girls of America who are pining away because they can’t get husbands. We have long thought of this. It has worried us so much that we are doing a good deal of pining ourselves. THE FATE OF A JOHNN Concrisro (the queen of the ballet)—"* Just run over to the k and get me a glass of water; and hurry about it, will you?” er —" With pleashaw, T asshaw you. “I'd eweep on me hands and knees for you, don’ cher know ?” prompter's Mr. Pi L=t IT BE said to their credit that the women in session at Washington adjourned before scratching each other's eyes out; and at the same time a body of men as mad as they were would have called that cowardice. JONES SAYS in a circula If you're ever going to do thing for me this is the time to begin.” Sam Tilden was once chided for not taking the presi- dency. Why doesn't Jones get himself sworn in as governor? But as he stepped on the revolving stage, on the return trip, SOYJITH ALL HER faults,” W said Miss Anthony recent- ly, speaking of Mrs. Lockwood, "I and was carried around four times before it stopped, he concluded that creeping was unnecessary. always stood by Belva until she began to bleach her hair and paint her face.” Th since Belva has no faults, sis the more malicious She never had but one in her life, and he's dead. CONTEMPORARY tells of John Henry Starin as he appeared when a boy, “barefooted and in a pair of cut-down trousers held up by one suspender.” We have already inquired whether Mr. Starin’s political ambition was state or national, and are looking for an answer to the ques- tion with breathless anxiety. MB..CLEVELAND cannot use rough language without presently find- ing it in the newspapers, and the result of that is extremely unpleas- ant. The Danbury News once told of a citizen who got his toes in a trap. As he is a member of the Presbyterian church,” said the News, “his sufferings may be imagined,” A CATASTROPHE, (individual appears at the side door of the dime museum in wild haste) — , Johnny, gimme some o' that paste in er hurry ; der bearded woman's whiskers is comin’ unbitched.” comicbooks.com