Judge — March 21, 1891 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AS IT IS ON LONG ISLAND. Citorus oF Fox-HuNTERS—" Hi! old man; You can’t join us.” R. INsKIP—"'T don’t wanter. a livin’ on my own hook. ON TIME, Bocas (dragged on to the platform of the last car) here’s such a thing as being too confoundedly prompt ! BRAKEMAN (serenely) —"'Just so. If you had been a minute later you wouldn't have made such a show of yourself as this.” is secking an unsought nomina- ME. FLOWE! tion. eee EE HERE, SARA! Have an interview with St. Patrick and make him buy the snake. eee R. HILL will not draw two salaries. He will merely prevent some good man drawing one of them, © 3s CSMAN DIGNA will greatly oblige a suffering world if he will go on with his dying and leave out the accessories to the same. IR CHARLES DILKE reminds us of the man who kept sticking up his head to see if he was whipped, and got more whipped as long as he did it. saat MB: REED is going to have much to do with the next congress, and if he can’t make a fuss he'll represent the space the {uss ought to occupy. Sence you fellers come down here an’ ruined my farm I've had t’ hunt foxes fer Git up, Snakefoot !" NEURALGIC PROPHECY. THs SPRING has nine new varieties of ache and a like amount of disappointment as to recovery from the same. There is no new spring disease to speak of; but some of the old afflictions have taken on new forms and fancies until there is scarcely a semblance of the orig- inal agitation. We do not necessarily allude here to the farmers’ alliance, or to the soreness of John James Ingalls, or to the fancy of the young man at such seasons; but to the breadth and variety of the weather, and the blighting influences that come therefrom. Surely it is to be an original, a heroic year. Fruits will have more vicious stingers than heretofore, the roses will be infested with bugs so that they can show no leaves whatever, and the grasshopper will flourish far beyond the green bay-tree. That we may be happy yet you must not bet. THE CRIME OF WAR. T IS PLEASANT to know that the kaiser’s mother was well treated in Paris. It suits Eng- land as well as Germany, and there is therefore no need of a war and the consequent kill- ing of fifty thousand ordinary soldiers, The great quarrel and the little do the blood-shedding. That the kaiser should have had his temper smoothed to a peace polish means life, peace, and the usual amount of happiness to at least two nations; but it is humiliating to believe that if he had remained ugly those nations would have had to undergo the consequent suffering. That, however, would have been merely a repetition of history. The late Louis Napoleon was so anx- ious to be insulted that he imagined the affront necessary to war, and it took only a few weeks to get himself beautifully whipped. The Germans may have profited from that lesson, though it resulted altogether in their favor. A war that can be honorably avoided is a great interna- tional crime, and the government most guilty of it ought to be wiped out of existence, as was that of the bogus Bonaparte. IN THE STUDIO, Coasny (the artist) —"' Pretty good old arm, my boy. Carried by my great-grandfather in the bat- tle of Bunker Hill.” His PRIEND —*‘ What are these initials and figures?” Coassy (tho hasn't seen them before) —* Et —er—well, you see, the old gentleman scratched them on s@ as to have his descendants do their duty in later wars.” comicbooks.com