Judge — March 7, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BERNHARDT talks for the ideal on the stage. These views are twaddle. The ideal is the real as Sara produces it, and there is no touch of nature in all her acting which is not both. + ¢GIVE US more school-houses !” exclaims the ed- itor of the Buffalo Express. The demand is modest because the need is apparent; but, dear boy, you can’t occupy more than one at a time. ‘THERE IS to be a shoemakers’ alliance with the point foremost that the government must loan money on over-supplies of boots and shoes, and when necessary get up a corner on the timber devoted to pegs. JONES HAS the indorsement of the Brooklyn Eagie as the ablest getter-up and utterer of agricultural addresses. So impressive is the Eagle's praise that Governor Hill has already said to Jones, “Go and buy a farm.” SUICIDE in hotels has come to be a great evil. The hotel man must post this placard in his guests’ rooms—"If you must kill yourself go to the hotel across the way, which has all the facilities for that experiment.” THE REASON WHY. Sue—"'T cannot express my love for you.” He (eagerly) —* Why ? Suz—" Because I haven't any.” HUM OF THE COURT. R. WATTERSON is depressed because he said it, and by way of apology says it again. NOWADAYS Mr. Ingalls has to search around to find himself when he wants to get up and get his breakfast. [8 THE CASE of young Astor and Miss Willing marriage was not only not a failure but it was a business boom. ILL J. J. ASTOR kindly give us his opinion as to whether it is possible for a prudent couple to live respectably on twelve hundred a year? RS. WINTER of Atlanta, Georgia, gave birth to three girl babies; where- upon Mr. Winter remarked that she was the season of his discontent. HE LATEST pre-election argument — Mrs. Cleveland plays the violin, and Grover allows the fiddler only a thousand a year wherewith to dress herself. HE FIRST ROBIN has appeared. It was in Maine, about two weeks ago. It was a fool robin, as its subsequent death appears to show, P. S.—It was a sparrow, and it didn’t die. UNCERTAINTY. Mrs. Mapet Watstxcto: Why so sad, my love 2” Maup (sobsing)—"Oh,. Mabel! I feel sure the count proposed to me to-day, but I could not hear him.” Mrs, Watsincton—" Couldn't hear him? Why not?’ Mavp—"* We were riding in a rattling Fifth avenue stage.” ‘THERE ARE STILL two hundred and fifty-thousand red men. When one contemplates the amount of killing they will do, and the amount of censure that will be visited on the regular army because of it, the spec tacle is appalling. CALVIN S. BRICE talks of leaving politics as the only means of keep- ing himself a millionaire. And there, in view of the falsehood that makes him a resident of both Ohio and New York, is the pricelessness of truth and self-respect. HEY BELIEVE in force down south, Force makes black men vote as they don’t want to vote, or counts out their ballots. But of course that is a very different thing from the force in the national senate which proposes to give black men fair play. HE EDITOR of the Albany 7imes has a long article in defense of Mary Magdalene, who, he says, was a noble, sinless woman, and not the woman whom the Saviour told to sin no more. Very well. The con- CEIT. sequent libel suits have been too long postponed. Mn. Broapwaten (the banker) —"" Dey's cheatin® goin’ on f* HEY SAY that Grover Cleveland is not a good politician. Well, since Mr. Knicut—"' Cheatin’ ?* he had to say something on the silver question, is there any Democrat Ms. Buoanwaren—" Vassicl da’s whad 'r sai who could have said anything wiser, from a partisan point of view, than Mr. Kxicitt—* How's yo’ gwine t’ prove ae S hes Mn, BROADWATER—"*"Dem lozzenger chips ob ming am all pep'mint, the things he said? So far as courage is concerned, it strikes us that G, an’ I jess smelt sassafrash, Da's how 1 proves it!” Cvhas in him the ring of the true mettle, comicbooks.com