Judge — February 28, 1891 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

66 JIM” PIERCE is not so’ much a free lance as the target for that kind of stabber. ee MCKINLEY for president or gov- ernor? Anything of that kind is good enough for him. z cee ONES is mentioned as a presidential possibility. They said the same thing about Jimmy Buchanan, and though he got there he never was. ese THE. EDITOR of the Albany Argus appears to think it necessary in opening clams to use a corkscrew. WE GUESS the mayor of Palestine, Texas, was whipped by Sam Jones, because the people of the town have asked him to resign. eee TANLEY is doing very well, but Major Pond is sufficiently appre- hensive to lie by telegraph with great fluency and frequency. cee POSTSCRIPT by Henry Watterson —"If this letter isn’t agreeable I will manage to mail it so it will be broken to you gently through the newspapers.” T SEEMS to us a ridiculous ques- tion, asked by a correspondent, “Where were the mugwumps during the war?” No mugwump ever be- longed to either of the two great parties. Atchison, Louise. T always skin, and now I'm sure of it. A BEREFT FAMILY, Miss GRUMPER (in the window) —* Just look at that horrid Mrs. thought that ulster was trimmed with cat- 363 glory. There, too, is the man who is going to die himself, and feels that it is only fair to encourage industry by intrusting the funeral to some humble but deserving undertaker. There is something, however, in the dignity of labor. If it is right to hang why should a sheriff-be too proud to do the executing? What is he there for? What right has he to put on airs be- yond the meaning and purpose of his salary? FOR THE GOOD OF THE DOG. R. WATTERSON advised Gov- ernor Hill to relinquish his presi- dential ambition in order to vindicate himself from a charge that Mr. Wat- terson said he knew to be false. In other words, the governor was asked to amputate his own nose because some other man tweaked the nose of Mr. Cleveland. This may not have been impertinent to the governor, but it certainly sought to saturate him with a meckness and lowliness possessed by no living man so far as known; and again to have accepted the advice would have been looked upon as a confession of guilt as charged. And this for the good of the Democratic party? The boy's dog had the boy's papa by the lip. “Hang on, pap!” exclaimed the boy ; “it'll be the ma ing of the dog.” SERMON, A GOOD DEAL of behaving hurts nobody, and a little of it goes a CANNOT wholly discover the alleged resemblance of Don Cam- cron to the late Mr. Iscariot. It appears to us that if the dis- tinguished possessor of the pottage would shave off his mustache he would look more like the departed Mr. Arnold. HANGING IS HONORABLE, HANGING is all right, in the view of the Sun ; but no self-respecting sheriff will do the hanging himself—he will rather intrust it to a subordinate. There is much in this. Thus, for instance, a general sends long way. As the lenten period goes on men and women are better satisfied with themselves and the world, and such abstinence as they observe brightens them to the public eye and gives them a self-respect which is both profitable and satisfying. Frugal living is good living, and forty days of it fits the body for the strain which it generally undergoes during the rest of the year. Is this penance? Possibly; but it is health as well. Do not be so good that illness shall come of it, and let the sackcloth be so comfortable that you may abstain from grip and pneumonia; and verily you will come into the Easter glory as if you out his men to do the fighting and dying, while he survives to get the a OUR SOUTHERN PARTNERS. RECIPROCITY with Brazil. That is the beginning of it. That, too, is the broad matter of protection—a union of continental interests, not against those of other continents, but in behalf of fair trade and more trade, the continent first and the world afterward. Does this mean free trade as well? If that is so it is odd that all the Democrats of congress should have voted against it, But it is more than pro- tection of commodities. It is protection through a mutual understanding and agreement of all parts of the continent against such foreign en- terprises as the Panama canal, and such invasion as that of Napoleon in Mexico during our civil war. North, Central and South America are ‘one as to commerce and defense, and reciprocity means safety against the schemes, in any emer- gency and at any time, of France, Austria, Eng- land—all of which had to do with the unhappy Mexican experiment, openly or covertly—or any other power of the outside world. President Monroe is generally credited with the idea, and CHANTM. Mr. Blaine is the man who makes it practica- Orricer FEENEY—"Oi've been an th’ foorce ble: Do not forget this when it is urged that now go’n' on tin year, an’ Oi niver yit seen a man reciprocity is free trade. wid a mug loike thot.” were a bright and shining part of it yourself. HOW DISTANCE HOW DISTANCE FAILED TO LEND EN. CHANTMENT—2. McGallister was one of those close-featured men, which explains Officer Feeney's surprise. comicbooks.com