Judge — February 28, 1891 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. W. J. Ants Braxwaxo Gittan TE UNITRD STATES AXD CANADA, IN ADVANCE, ‘One copy, one year.or sz numbers = $53.09 One cops, six montiss, OF 26 numoers - 2.50 135 Tncluding the Cumtsts As JvocE. FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS To all for- cign countries (a the postal wm $a years Tue JuGe PuBLisiina ComPANY (Jupce Butninc), Cor. Fifth Ave. and 16th St., New York tee advertise 2 paper publish The once it for jean Newupaper dgeme Larger circulation at cheaper rates than ony other American tat by the Amer: sop T HILL an One fur Weed get together,” says somebody. Very well. al or two? URING LENT we shall rigorously and religiously give up every conundrum that comes to hand. JAMES REDPATH hat nd thoroughly that nis death, seems at first glance the most radical injustice of all. 1 injustice so honest HE CHURCH of Doctor age to be built upon the sa nd haven't his people enough of th le to complete the foundation? VIS A WORLD of troubie, and the editor of the Evencay Post always goes to bed in hysterics and arises with the ruffled plumage of a wet hen, FaAtue the columns of the be recalled as the economica man who demands three shines and a sandwich for a quarter of HOLMAN has reappeared He will states- a dollar. sie fe HEN A MAN has had an office several years beyond his term he will act with no more than ordinary politeness and propriety by putting himself in position to be kicked out of it. ROYALLY PORTER (who has oy the station) —"* Were, there! as well as anybody, Uncie Jit Lecris—" W: HEN CLEVELAND was pre dent Mr, Watterson had for him the most intense dislike, As an aged politician was wont to remark, the whirli to Canajobarie.” of time catches the early bird. [71S GIVEN OUT that Howard Carroll's paper will, if necessary, sink a thousand dollars a week for three years. In other words, Mr. Carroll will not only put up his ducats but his Dukes. LY TRACT which liv opposed to tobacco says Secretary Windom died with a cigar in his mouth. We learn that he ighted the cigar. Possibly that was the cause of it. e686 because it KEFELLER, who is worth a hundred millions, says he has just begun to make moncy. ‘There was a time when Noah owned the carth and planted a Baptist university, but he died just the same. HE SOUTHERN MAYOR who refused to see Jay Gould is right so far as his tender conscience is concerned, but as a man of the world * he is likely to get his tender comb cut. This part of the universe cannot be run successfully on the Sunday-school principle, whatever the demands of the infant class. LILLIAN RUSSELL says she never pads her tights—nature did that for her to begin with. To this she makes oath; and we must sa ‘ all the dude testimony at hand, that there have never been wrinkles in her continuations, whatever may be said as to those which have begun to encroach upon her eyes. chariot wuz in honor ‘f my jest bein’ ‘lected road-commish’ner up home MBS: E- F. SHEPARD has done a most excellent thing in providing a hotel for worthy women and girls who come to New York seeking employment or for other legitimate purposes. These people have done nobody harm, but they are treated by the average hotel as if they were outlaws or worse. Let us suggest that the place be known as the house of the good Shepard. THE MORMON’S PAINT AND FEATHERS. THE MORMONS are charged with the Messiah craze which brou bout the late Indian outbreak, If they are not guilty their innocen is probably accidental. They have used the Indians time and again to further the advancement of the wickedness on which they have built their church. In the Mountain Meadow massacre they were disguised as In- dians, and, largely through the deception thus accomplished, it was years before the leaders of the massacre were brought to justice. It is a part of their creed that assassination is justifiable if the church needs that assist- ance to the continuance of its villainous piety. The Indian is bad through birth and education. The Mormon is infinitely worse through a cultivated viciousness which is merciless against decency and everything opposed to + the law of lust. TECUMSEH. grew old very gracefully. Rather, he grew young. He stopped his fighting when the war ended, and from that time cultivated, with cheerful countenance and dignified serenity, the arts and courtesies of peace. Atall places where good entertainment was, there was the young old man, the laugh and the merry-making and the solid enjoy- ment for him and of him; and the place he occupied was the head of the table or the front and box of genial, gentle comment and criticism. He a hale first-nighter, with the bloom on his rough cheek and the pique of ex- pectation bristling through his sparse and scattered hair. He dined, and spoke good words from the n spiration of a stomach kindly and a head corresponding! loved youth, and gave his ing to the better half of it. the world, as it loved him; and it is better to recall him now, with a laugh on his mouth and a flash in his eye, than through the sombre gravity which stopped his heart when he best knew: how to live. UMSEH SHERMA He loved WELCOMED. heeled the passenger the whole length You ain't no invalid. NINE ROADS TO DISASTER. NOW WHAT is a poor man to do? David accepted the senatorship and thereby betrayed Smith Weed and Charles A. If he hadn't ac- cepted it he would have betrayed the Democratic party, perhaps to the extent of securing the election of a Republican senator. He suited Cleveland and that man’s friends by taking the senatorship; but he be- trays them by keeping in the presidential field and removing Cleveland men from state offices. Many of his warmest friends have been alienated by his action, but any other action would have ruined him forever. Iold- ing two offices at one time, the people at large are opposed to him; but as a senator and nothing else he would lose the power in this state without which for a year or so he would be a nonentity in Washington, Oh, what is a poor man to do? You can walk Of course I kin. I thought that WHAT CENTURY IS THIS? THE DOCTORS are discussing the old question, * Shall doctors a tise?” It may be true that Dr. Koch has not sought fame, but the same he has it, and therefore he must be dropped from the rolls. Any doctor who becomes known for any particular medicine or success is an advertiser. The doctor who isn’t remarkable for anything and is never heard of is the best doctor because he can’t advertise or be advertised. The old discoverers of anzesthetics were. humbugs because they gave the world the benefit of their discoveries ; and a doctor who makes known a remedy that blesses mankind must be tabooed according to the knowledge of his remedy that the world has gained. No doctor must hang out a sign. If a doctor marries he must keep that matter out of the news- papers; and if he dies there must be no notice of that event; because it might ministér to his posthumous pro‘it and vanity. comicbooks.com