Judge — February 28, 1891 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE HE INDIAN is not lazy or cowardly... He will do any amount of marching, run- ning, moving and murdering to establish the assumption that labor is discom- forting and degrading. : [T 1S ODD that the mugwump press, declaring that the Republican party must reconstruct itself, should not add that it has had the necessary frame-work feady these several years. ‘THE AGED DEMOCRAT who writes appallingly for the Sun makes a reap- pearance with a new wig and several remarks that he didn’t make before he cut his teeth or got his clothes on. ‘THE WILDE BROTHERS, Oscar and Willie, are such enemies that if one enters a room the other goes out of it; so it seems that after all the Wilde brothers are entitled to some respectful consideration. ‘A RICH WOMAN who passed counterfeit money was adjudged insane. If she had been poor the court would probably have allowed her by way of vindica- tion not so much as a small colic or a little eccentricity. ]F RAY HAMILTON is alive he will probably call out in due season, “ Bring me my grave. I want to crawl into it and get away from notoriety. This habit of dropping graves in miscellaneous places has gone too far.” RS, J. B. POTTER was playing in Australia when a man at the front of the house killed himself with a revolver. It seems to us that if peopl+ don't like Mrs. Potter's acting they can offer better criticism by staying away from in. N OHIO MAN fell six stories and landed on a pile of brick. “I must have a net stretched somewhere around here,” he said softly to himself, brushing his clothes and walking away. “ Those bricks make me feel like I was rheumatic.” ** Boo! hoo-hoo!" yelled little Johnny. “What is the matter, dear?" said his mother. ** Boo-hoo! Me an’ Jimmy Green was playin’ like we was cats out on the coal-shed, whea some one raised up a window and hit me in the head with a boot-jack.” HUM OF THE COURT. HE ADVENT of Diss Debar on the stage will necessitate the addition of innumerable props. PERHAPS Cleveland and Ingalls really are cousins, and that’s what keeps the ex-p. in such abominable temper. ‘THIRTY PIECES of silver? Ab, Judas! what a cheap and stupid chump you were."—/. Donald Cameron. **Go TO POUGHK E -xcitedly exclaims the New York Proneer. So that’s the new name for it, is it? R, GORMAN has the admiration of some parties not be- cause they love him more but because they love our David less. AFTER THE LIVE-STOCK PURCHASE. bg, Cornalius Driscoll! Yez won't be afther recognizin’ an how yure shtore clothes on yez.” 1.—"* OF'll not be demanin’ mesilf be shpakin’ t' a man thot thravels wid a sheeny.”” ELLA HIGGINSON says men are at their worst when in need of a dinner, and at their best when in need of forgiveness. How necessary, then, that the dinner should always be on time as a condition of peace, and likewise the forgiveness, as an encouragement to good conduct. CAPTAIN O'SHEA says he is a thoroughly honorable man, and his state- ment to that effect is indorsed by William Henry Hurlbert. The indorse- ment is excellent; but we wish the captain might be able to show that he was born blind and has ever since been getting more so. THE SOPHS and freshies of a female college have had a snow-ball fight, in which the former won. To a looker-on in Gehenna this seems like fun; but the last state of those girls is likely to partake largely of cricket, boat-racing and the voluminous information inseparable from wine and cigars. HE POPE is said by a fairly competent liar to have decided that Columbus was not a saint, and that therefore he must not be beatified. Christopher was a good Catholic, of course; but the existence here ot the Democratic party draws largely from the glory of his discovery and may even make his memory liable to the severest censure. T COST Mrs. Stanley seven hundred dollars to give the young ladies of a western school complimentary tickets to one of Henry's lectures. “Soho!” . said Henry when the fair lady gave him an envelope with Major Pond’s bill in it more My boy, you ought to be like a postage-stamp— «this is a valentine, is it?” and he smiled a loving smile. But when he had ‘YounG FLYaway—"Humph! What is there that goes around read it he used language with such vehemence that Mrs. Stanley said between more than postage-stamps do?” sobs it was at last demonstrated that he was a born orator. WORKS BOTH WAYS. comicbooks.com