Judge — February 7, 1891 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE IDES OF THE PLAY- HOUSE. WIEN my boyhood’s hoarded pennies Bought the mystic card-board slip ‘That unveiled the family-circle—all was real ; And the tin I thought was silver And the brass I knew was gold Made the temple histrionic my ideal. With my bank-account extended, At the age of thirty-one I could worship a Comalba or a Seidy! With a twenty-rose bouquet From a stall in the parquet, The theatre changed itself into an idyl. ‘Then at forty-five the habit But at sixty—slightly heavy, Had so wrapped me to itself And with eyes a trifle dim, ‘That my love became most difficult to And a little touch of gout which makes bridle, me sidle And every evening found me As I walk into my box— In the orchestra—reserved— T can truthfully affirm Most industriously worshiping my idol, That I only go there now because I'm idle. J. & coopwin, MUSIC OF THE DEEP. Mxs, PLacipe —'* I wonder who occupies the next state-room, Agnes?” Miss Pracipe don’t know, but he is evidently an old sailor. He's been singing ‘Yo, heave, yo," all day.” BEFORE THE FIRE. IDE by side they sat before the great roaring fire, while the wind without howled and yelled. “Look, Rosalie,” he cried suddenly, bending forwayd and pointing to a bed Sce you not a royal castle—portcullis raised—drawbridge guest? Sce you not a long hall, and then an empty throne where the queen will sit?” Tell me, who will be the queen ?” “Couldn't say,” she replied carelessly. “Ab, Rosalie,” he sighed, “would that queen were you!" The girl drew herself up proudly and pointed to the fire. “Sir!” she ex- claimed indignantly, “do you take me for a salamander?” ANOTHER REFUTATION. Mr. Einstein —* Aaron, it vas von lie in dis newsbaber dot marriage vos a failure. Mr. Colinsky—"1 don'd know about dot, Isaac.” Mr, Einstein —Vell, uf marriage vos von failure, vy don’d I git some- dings from my Rebecca, ain’d it?” AK LESSO? Roansipe Bit, (handing back the pic)—* Madam, will you kindly change this for a piece of soap? Mas, Newnouse —* Certainly ; but you can have the pie too.” Roapstor Bi.—"* Don't need it, I wanted the soap to get the taste of that one mouthful out.” THE POOR BRUTE. 66H. MADAM, Jip has just bit a man in the street !” What kind of a looking man was it?” “He was nearly in rags.” “Poor Jip! Wash the darling’s mouth out with a little eau de cologne.” THAT ACCOUNTS FOR IT. Jones (to his room-mate)—" That alarm-clock of yours is a nuisance. It makes noise enough to wake the dead.” Robinson —" Still it doesn't arouse me.” Jones —" Ob, well, you're from Philadelphia.” HE WANTED TO INFRINGE, Waggs—" What's the hardest thing in the world to die 's (waiting for a legacy)—“A rich old uncle, I gue Waggs—*Not a circumstance to a patent-right, for it’s just seventeen years expiring.” ONE OF THE FINEST. ee Visitor —" That's a handsome man, and how docile he looks.” can | ea tet eg WITH FAUS 3 ee Warden of prison—" Yes, sit; he's one of the finest murderers gi, YC aol a shale ee Ne Mont BO on without a glass of grog, we have.” MAnacer —" Well, give the devil his dew.” comicbooks.com