Judge, 1891-02-07 · page 5 of 18
Judge — February 7, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical style: **"Before Her Time"** jokes about a child caught in dust during a windy walk, gasping she's "turning to dust." **"A Typographical Scowl"** pokes fun at proofreaders examining freshly printed papers, playing on the visual appearance of a turned letter "1" resembling a scowling face. **"Cemeterial Streets"** contrasts suburban safety with urban danger—a man nearly died attempting to walk through New York City streets, implying they're hazardously crowded or chaotic. **"Sentences Passed by the Judge"** offers satirical aphorisms about human nature and public opinion. **"He Didn't Swear"** presents ironic humor: a Sunday school boy, forbidden to curse, creatively substitutes "Rotterdam" for profanity—then wishes harm on the girl who stole his candy. The joke satirizes the false piety of religious instruction, showing how constraint produces worse thoughts than honest swearing would. The comics and jokes reflect turn-of-century American urban life, social pretension, and moral hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
— BEFORE HER TIME. LITTLE LILIAN went out for a walk on a windy day. A sudden gust enveloped her in a cloud of dust. When her breath returned sufficiently she gasped, “Oh, mamma! I'm turning to dust and blowing away.” A TYPOGRAPHICAL SCOWL. WHEN the paper is off complete When he spreads one out to dry ; Holds it off a couple of feet Its broadside beauty to spy — ‘Then only the proof-reader knows How much is behind the sigh Which answers the gleam that glows In the leer of an upturned 1, 7. P MURRAY. CEMETERIAL STREETS. Mr, Suburb—"1 understand you came near being buried alive. ; xe gh Were God it’s trance? Mama —'* What occupation do you think will be best for " eae ‘our dearest boy when he grows up?” Friend —“No; \ attempted to Para—''I think with a little more home training he will walk through the streets of New make a good sword-swallower.” York city.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. HE direct consequence of rushing out of single blessedness is often that of rushing into double wretchedness. Without some field for the exercise of curiosity most people would find life as tedious as a historical novel. There are minds from which the forcible expulsion of one idea is necessary before another can be embraced or entertained. Public opinion is that shadow, often distorted and grotesque, cast on the sensitive plate of the mind by a more or less distant object. HE DIDN’T SWEAR. HE sneaked the boy's candy that Santa Claus eft, “* Dear mamma,” said Johnnie, “you know that I am And knowing Sue Smithers committed the theft A Sunday-school scholar and wouldn't say * dam’; He felt a big mad and he wanted to swear, But ‘ Rotterdam ', ma, is that wicked to say?” But—thoughts of ma's slipper made Johnny beware, She answered, ‘* No evil that word should convey.” KATHRINE GROSJEAM, How sweet the relief to this Sunday-school child, And how like a dear little demon he smiled ! “‘L never will play any more on the heath With Sue, but I wish she was planted beneath, And hope that stole candy will Rotterdam teeth !” JOHN ALBRO.