Judge — January 17, 1891 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE RESULT OF INTERFERENCE. Jones—'* Why don’t Bridget hang this parrot up after she is through cleaning him?" —"‘Just like everything else about is house, if 1 want it done right, I have it myself.” ——"Ouch! T'll bet Bridget forgot to fasten in the bottom of that cage.” JUDGE IN CENTRAL PARK. SsTHAT bust of Shakespeare ought to be taken from its pedestal and cleaned.” . “But that would be doing “People would say that he was ‘off his base.'” THE HUG. WHENEVER you take out your girl Upon a sleigh-ride festive, Be sure to use a bear-skin robe— You know ‘tis so suggestive. A NATURAL ONE, Dimmick—" Have you heard of the uprising in Alaska?” Kickshaw—*No; tell me about it.” Dimmick —" Well, a new vol- cano has developed itself there.” THE BOY OF IT. TOM TARTAR. 64] ET’S go and hook snow-ap's to-night from Dea- con Toogoode’s tree.” PRED, FEREFULL, “1 saw some apples on your porch as jolly as could be.” TOM TARTAR, ‘Huh ! them’s no fun; pop bought ‘em at the grocery for me.” A VOICE FROM THE MEDICAL LIMBO, +4] JELLO, there, Koch’s lymph! I'm ex- pecting you.” “Who are you?” “I'm Brown-Sequard’s clixir of life.” THE EASTERN IDEA. Western woman—*\ don’t care what other people may say, Man-with-a-hole-in- his-stocking is a good Indian.” Eastern friend —“You don't When did he die?” say! TO A LADY WITH A GLASS EYE, DRINK to me only with your mouth, And I will pledge with wine ; Or leave a kiss within your cup And I will stick to mine. — x. A POOR JOB. McCorkle —“ Jaysmith calls himself a self-made man.” McCrackle—" Well, no one who knows him will dispute the assertion.” 2G Fe NOT TO BE DIVULGED. Jawkins —“How did you get that black eye?” Hogg (who has recently had some business in court) —“Oh, that’s a secret of the jury-room.” AN UNEXPECTED QUESTION. Mother — Clara, how did you stand in your class to-day ?” Clara —“ Seventh from head, mamma.” Mother —"Well, 1 am glad you are doing better. By the way, how many were there in the class?” Clara (hesitating) —“About seven.” TRYING TO MAKE A DICKER. MoLtison—'* I am at a disadvantage, sir. You have surprised me.” THE FATHER OF SEVEN OF THEM—'' Don't let a little thing like that worry you, young man, free transportation would be any object to you to take all I've got.” I just came in to see if a ranch in Utah and THE GIRL OF IT. MAMMA, SCYVHAT! powder on my little girl I've always taught with care z That it would spoil complexions were they dark or were they fair?” LITTLE GIRL (aged fteelve). **But all the girls just pile it on and laugh ‘cause I don't —there !” THE DEFEAT OF A CRITIC. Gotpspy—"* You can go on ahead, Clara, I'll be hanged if I'll walk in the company of a hat like that.” Mrs. Gotnsny (as the shower showers) —"* Won't you reconsider, Edwin?” comicbooks.com