Judge — November 15, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOW’DAYS. NOW-DAYS Joseph's acting strange. Te Wears his best clothes days together ; Got some boots with patent-leather On ‘em; buys perfumery ; Bought a hat that cost a dollar; Went and got a fancy-shade Necktie and a stand-up collar. What's the matter? Nancy Wade. Now'days Joseph gets around more Lively ; goes to hear the speaking Every Sunday, and goes sneaking Sunday nights around the church door. Joined the choral union, when he Never sung a note nor played Anything, I guess, but penny Jew's-harps. ‘Cause of Nancy Wade. Now’days Joseph's got a new style Single cutter ; and he brushes Upand scours things. And he blushes Ler her come within a mile. Can't so much as stand the mention Of Elisha Poole—he paid Something like a little attention, "Way last year, to Nancy Wade. Now’days Joseph's lpoking round and Pricing furniture, and buying Timber and the like, and slying Round about the price of land, Now'days Joseph's right in clover ; Thinks the universe was made For they two, He's bubbling over Now'days, and so’s Nancy Wade. A orrun, FORCED POLIT! Mrs, TeNNant—'‘ Isn't there some mistake, doctor? I thought my en- gagement was for ten o'clock.” BRIERTON (swhose toothache has left him suddenly)—" Y-yes; I'm to b-blame, madam, P.permit me to offer you my s-seat.”* HARD TO DETERMINE. y haughty in his bearing, but I understand he has dignity?” dignity or a COULDN’T SEE THE DIFFERENCE. Negro porter (to lady boarder) —" Ef Mistah Muggins don’t stop his flirtin’ wi’ Miss Fannie I's gwine to rit his wife a unanimous lettah, | is.” Lady boarder (laughing) —* You mean anonymous, don’t you ? Negro porter (scratching his head)—"I reck’n dey mean ‘bout d’ same.” SHE COULDN'T. New housemaid —“ There's a leddy down- Mrs. Gazzam.” Mrs. Ge New housemaid S wants ter see yer, m —" Show her up.” I niver laid eyes on her befor Faith, an’ I don’t know anythin’ agin her, mum, ART CALLED TO ACCOUNT. Uncie Gaston (at The battle of Gettysburg")—'*'Tain't kerrect, Ashbel “tain’t kerrect.” t is wrong with it, uncle?’ s—"* See that fir-tree down near th’ stun-wall? Well, I.wuz be- th’ hull fight, an’ (convincing/y) where be I in th’ pictur’ ?” lis NE Us NATURE’S COURSE. ‘¢Q)H, AUNTIE, Harry has a tooth!” shouted little Gertie, and there is another one coming.” ‘Then continuing and counting, “And after that he will get another and then an- other and then(pausing and recollecting her own experience) he can have one pulled out.”” A STREET-CAR IDYL. THOUGHT she is most uncommon fair, I do not care a rap; She looks quite lovely swaying there While holding to the strap. WHAT MAY BE EXPECTED. Patient — Can I see Dr. Curem ?* Servant —" The doctor is smoking an imported cigar, sir, and cannot be disturbed." CHICAGO ETHICS. He—*Will you not name the day next month, my dear ?” She—Oh, Henry, let's put it off until a few weeks later. My November weddings have been unlucky from the start.”” AN ORNATE BANDAGE. es Who did thot 7” Nus—" Whisht, dar-rlin’! ‘Th’ pig had a shtummick-ache, an’ it wor a quistion phether we cilibrated our Christmis’ dinner or:Parthrick’s day wid th’ most ent'usiasm.” —" Tare a Mrs, McMa: uns! comicbooks.com