Judge, 1890-11-08 · page 6 of 16
Judge — November 8, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Judge's Suggestion" cartoon** (top): Shows a street obstruction problem humorously "solved" by placing a gravestone labeled "SECTION NO. 1891" in a torn-up street—suggesting that death is the only relief from chronic street construction delays. **"Sure to Get There"**: A fortune-teller joke mocking social climbers. A vain man seeks assurance of future prominence; the seer predicts everyone will remove their hats in his presence—at his funeral. **"Great Cry, But Little"**: Jones exaggerates a hunting story, claiming he killed a dangerous animal; the punchline reveals he actually shot a snipe (a small, insignificant bird)—satire of hunters' tall tales. **"Floored"** dialogue: Anglo-American social commentary. English and American society women debate why wealthy American men prefer English girls, while rich American men don't marry English women—poking fun at transatlantic marriage market dynamics and class pretensions. **"Latest Eastern Question"**: A brief joke about Turkish fashion being outdated, likely reflecting period Western stereotypes about Ottoman decline.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SUMACH. ARSE-GRAINED and harsh the slender stalks Of wayside sumach stand ; GAA] And each lithe branch uplifted seems As some cup-bearer, tanned, Who holds to wutumn’s lips divine A goblet of sun-tinted wine With mute, adoring hand, And deeply to the very lees ‘The russet goddess drains These jeweled cups that erst were filled From summer's glowing veins— Red draughts that hold the subtle sense Of pungent sylvan frankincense And misty later rains, ‘Then, like some alchemy of old, From pulse to he \l rising lends New glory to her eyes, Where shadowy fire an instant leaps As lightning from a cloud that sleeps Fast moored in stormy skies. And blithely as she passes on Sound autumn's chariot-wheels, As gliding through her being swift The sumach’s life she feels ; While over all the landscape brown A flood of sunlight rushes down And bafiled winter kneels. SURE TO GET THERE. PUFFED- UP individual who was of the opinion that he hadn't had his share of the world’s attention consulted a fortune-teller. “ Rest content, my very dear sir,” was the sibyl’s vaticination ; “a day will come when every head shall be uncovered in your presence.” “When? Oh, whet “On the day of your funeral ” “GREAT CRY, BUT LITTLE,” ETC. ONES was describing a gunning adventure. fired, the animal fell; but it proved to be only wounded. it with all the te North-American Indi of my gun.” Jones had shot a snipe. T tracked ‘ity of the sleuth-hound and the craftiness of the Finally I overtook and killed it with the stock [ OF THE AF! Benjie —"* Teacher basted you pretty well t'day, ¢ Osean —"* Yep; but you jest wait an’ see him t' picayrf? SECTION ,| wo. 091.7), il lo SUGGESTION FOR THE PREVENTION OF THE OBSTRUCTION OF THE STREETS WHILE THEY ARE BEING TORN UP. FLOORED. The duchess of Shamcodds to men than your Amer Miss Manhattan American wives?” The duchess —" The expl that the Romeo needs money. Miss Manhattan —* Then how is it that American millionaires don't marry some of your English Juliets ?” “Our English girls are more attractive it then that your men seem to prefer tion in those exceptional cases is simply THE LATEST EASTERN QUESTION. First quidnunc— is that >" see that Turkish securities have fallen. Why Second guidnune —* The sultan’s harem has decided that its clothes are old style.” ‘AIR, ——(the next day). *When he sent me out fer that switch yisterday T cut it off a pizen-ivy vine. comicbooks.com