Judge, 1890-08-09 · page 6 of 22
Judge — August 9, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several satirical sketches typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"There's Music Everywhere"** is a whimsical poem with accompanying illustrations playing on musical puns and double meanings—fishermen "casting," grocers "running scales," cobblers taking "measures"—celebrating wordplay rather than political satire. **"A Slim Field to Work"** mocks a subsidized railroad car porter complaining business is poor because passengers are distracted betting on a dead horse racing club—satirizing both the absurdity of the betting culture and perhaps the ineffectiveness of subsidies. The remaining sketches are domestic humor: a daughter planning an elopement, a gentleman enjoying repeated collision with a woman on a train, and a talking doll programmed with a politician's speech malfunctioning hilariously. These target everyday follies rather than specific political figures or events, representing *Judge*'s typical blend of social observation and slapstick comedy aimed at middle-class readers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
286 THERE'S MUSIC EVERYWHERE. NE'ER I walk abroad I find ‘There's music everywhere ; ‘The mountain has a heavy base, A sail can take the air; Against the harbor-bar the swells. With dashing volume come : The humming-bird fits gayly past— T hear the kettle-drum. ‘The fisherman can castat ‘And catch a score or 80; . The hautboy cries, * With pain high C “The cornet by the crow ;” The grocer runs the scales and makes ‘Them weigh a pound full soon ; The bagpipes with a will, the staf! ‘Can-earry any tune, The cobbler tries a measure, Full forte lyres fill Our ears with sound ; the Jew'sharp too, ‘Accordion to their skil ‘Tne sky has tone, the pines have pitch, The sea the quay also; And lovers, ere they reach the tie, Are pianissimo. “Tis thus, whene’er T walk abroad, Such tuneful sights I see AAs prompt to happy rhymes like these melody, is sweet with hims, and soft belles salute the heir ‘The ocean has a thousand sounds “There's music every A SLIM FIELD TO WORK. SUBSIDIZED CAR-PORTER — ain't no use dis mawnin’, gonnlemen.” PALprratine Dick —"* What's th’ matter?” CaR-poRTER—"'On'y got two pahsengers, an’ dey’s bofe been bettin’ on d’ Dead Horse Gulch base-ball club.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. GREATNESS can fail; what it cannot do is to compromise with littleness, Let the winner of the prize remember that for the triumph of his y/orfa there is the cry of dolorosa from the defeated. While one side of the citadel is most carefully guarded the other is surprised and entered by the foe. What ifa harvest fails us now and then? ‘Time's granaries are not emptied of their seed nor the heavens of moisture. In countries where greatness is not inherited like a cloak or a crown a man must do something to be something, and what he is will depend upon what he docs. Somewhere in the world every man’s work awaits him; and until he has found this one thing, great or small, into which he can pour his individuality, his hand will be seeking and his s Acclimati this planet. Whatever their d y be, they find themselves hopelessly out of touch with the world, and seem ever to be furtively pluming themselves to flit back into the country whence they came. KATIMINE GkOS)RAN Mk. Kiptors—" Have him ‘round to my hitehin’-post at ten o'clock ht. One of my daughters is goin’ to elope, an 1 to make a show of ketchin’ her.” HE HAD MAS SOYZHO was that gentleman [just saw you talking with so earnestly ? “Oh, that was the exiled nihilist, Mr, At-choo-at-chow-at-chee- at-chiski “Why, what a frightful cold you ha all; not at all, Twas merely giving you the exact pronunciation of the gentleman's name. It's sneezy enough when you've learned how.” QUITE EXCUSABLE. Pretty young lady (to middle-aged gentleman as. she falls against him on rounding a curve on the “1.")—" Excuse me, sit; Uhope I didn't hurt you.” Middle-aged gentleman —* Not much! 1 shall only feel hurt if you don’t do it again!" A CONFUSION OF TONGL A MATTER OF HABIT. . DILLENBAcK (toho has brought home a talking-doll)—"*1 had the cylinder put in to order, as I thought something familiar would please Bessie.” Aaahie tine Ine thiexmorning? THE DoLL—* Ducey av th’ foort is no moor fit t’ rippyresint th’ conshtituints Tom Wrounder (jauntilyy—"Ab, yesh; mornin’ m' dear; *% "ould wared than that —~ —— Branigan, we had last *—— der: | )- Dittennac Howling dervishes! They've made a mistake and put in my hash you used Sayres'h pope > caucus reporter Mrs. Wrounder —* What do you mean, sir, coming home comicbooks.com