Judge, 1890-08-09 · page 5 of 22
Judge — August 9, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains several satirical sketches about late 19th-century American social life: **"The Only Kind She Could Get"** jokes about a woman's confusion over "denomination" at the post office—she thinks the clerk is asking about her religion rather than currency denominations. The humor relies on wordplay and mocks both female education and a specific reference: John Wanamaker, a prominent Philadelphia merchant and Presbyterian, likely making this a topical jab. **"Strauss Philosophizes"** features a German bartender explaining how popularity works like an echo—the public merely reflects back what's thrown at them. It's social commentary on superficial fame, rendered in exaggerated German-immigrant dialect for comedic effect. The remaining sketches use similar period humor: romantic nostalgia, religious satire, and domestic comedy. The opening illustration depicts schoolgirls at a seaside resort, contrasting their academic education with leisurely pursuits—critiquing women's boarding school culture. The satire targets social pretension, class pretense, and gender roles of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN AIR OF KITTEREE. At boarding-school these frisky maids Drank in the draught that flows From erudition’s founty maze; Equative problems, long essays And hours linguistic filled the days. With studious repose. THE ONLY KIND SHE COULD GET. S4 GIVE me a dollar's worth of stamps, please,” said a lady to the clerk at the post-office.” “What denomination, madam? “Presbyterian, I suppose. That's what Mr. Wanamaker is, 1 believe.” STRAUSS PHILOSOPHIZES. $+ PYOWN went McGinty to the bottom of the sea,” sang the newsboy as he came into the saloon. Strauss was bent over with his back to the door, drawing a glass of lager, and his vast proportions presented such an unusual appearance that Johnny thought it was some new kind of a flower-stand that Strauss had been putting in his bar for an orna- ment, and so he threw his bundle of papers and hat upon it, and they rolled off upon the floor as the German poet straightened up and said, “Y-aea, dot vos an echo.” “Wot yer givin’ us, Strauss?” said Johnny. “Dot song vos yoost an echo, unt dot vos bopularity ain'd it. You seen a heafy fog already, Chonny, or a side off a lifery shtable on a pack streed, or an emdy parrel of sauer-kraut, unt you holler a Ieedle pit oud loud, unt der voice she comes pack on you; dot’s an echo, Chonny, unt dot's bopularity mit a song or a pook or a pig speech. Der pooblic vos a solid fog-bank off echo, py crashus, und der ding of it is dot echo vill shpeel IN THE MORNING, Mr. CAZENOVE (in at Xyfer's) —" How it makes my blood leap and surge when I think of the deeds of daring those knights used to do. Oh, that T had an opportunity to emulate them And now at Kitterce’s fair point No change upon them grows. A yacht has folded wing off shore ; The gallant sailors, ten or more, Have ready spy-giasses galore— ‘The maidens?— they re-pose. pack a brayer or a song, a reckviem or a gomic Pewery two-for-fife-cents concert-saloon opera. By chimminy! id makes me shmile in mine shiee ven I see somepody got sick pecause he lost his bopularity, allewile it vos only der fog got lifted unt der echo vos a leedle repair out of. Wot you want is a bass-drum and a red suit, Strauss,” said Johnny. “Neih,” said the genial Dutchman; “I got not mooch cars for but you ought ter be in the salvation army if yer goin’ ter preach in a saloon; and he grabbed his papers and got through the door just ahead of a piece of bologna on which the varnish had commenced to crack in 1861. TRIUMPHANT OVER DEATH. N ISRAELITE, being refused admission to the realms of bliss, did not lose his commercial instincts through disappointment. He did a thriving business with those condemned to pass to the left by means of this alluring sign: “Misfit wings at half rates. “TO THIS COMPLEXION ”—— Gaggs (as Mrs. Lily White passes) —" Pretty good job of white- washing, that. Waggss (watching her immovable face) —“ Whi lathed and plastered.” washing, man! She's IN THE EVENIN ’s sake, stand still, Enoch suppose I'm going to drape it if you keep fiddling around like that?” How do you