Judge — May 24, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUD IMPROMPTU SPEECHES. SUDDEN audience strikes a blow On some men’s brainy dynamite, And, grandly crashing, up they go In clouds of rhetoric out of sight, ‘And heaven be praised when they alight ! On my bewildered brain, alas! Howe'er imperious fall the blow, It strikes but on a flabby mass Of feeble putty and of dough ; Of feeble intellectual dough. Forefend that impious call inane To more than Moses's miracle, That bids me pierce my stubborn brain For thought that will not heed the spell ; For eloquence that scorns the spell. And teach all fools, ye blessed powers, ‘That thought must on still uplands fall And slowly wind through musing hours Refore it leap to eyes of al" A torrent oratorical ! CONFESSION OF FAITH. oe Ww we were married you confessed entire faith in me,” he sa Yes," she replied; “but lately I have been convinced that the confession of faith needed revising.” ORIGINALITY IN Lady (in drug store) —" I of-the-balmy-breeze-blown-west ? Clerk—" No, 'm. But we hav tilled juices of the damp sea-weed NOMENCLATURE. you the toilet powder called * Blush- new toilet-water made of the dis: nd called the ‘Amélie Rives hair.’ NOT FOR ME, CO!) HER beauty is noble and rare, And is all that a man could desire ; And her figure with that will compare, And together with love they inspire. She has health, she has wealth, she has mind, She has soul beaming forth in each look; Tut, alas! I must make me resigned, For this paragon lives—in a book. AN IMPOSSIBILITY. ¢+)M[R- COURTNERAY, don’t you think Alice is a fine girl?” “Aw, Miss DeLacy, but you must, aw, pawdon me; I never think.” A FAILURE IN ROCHESTER. Rochester editor —" What do you think of the new editorial writer?” Assistant —" He seems to use very choice English.” Rochester editor —" Well, we'll have to let him go, 1 afraid that fellow going to be a failure in Ro ester journalism.” was LOVE’S PENALTY. MY BOY, if kis And jou expect to win’her, I fear you'd better now begin ‘To be a dreadful sinner, A FEW DEFINITIONS. Dates— kind of fruit used in reckoning time. Directing — Watching others work. ds—Other people's peculiar habits. Friendship —The sellish- ness of two persons tr: muted into bonds stronger Parkor—"' Well, T'll be darned !” than death, Vatch me soak that cat !” GE IT BROKE HIS HEART. 66] DECLARE, Tom,” said the fond mother, “the baby is the very And the papers next day chronicled a“ mysterious image of you!" disappearance.”” KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. C4 LJNCLE 'RASTUS, are you afraid of ghosts Yessir, I doan’ like ghosses.” “Well, | merely wanted to warn you that my chicken-house was haunted.” “ Ha‘nted ? No, sah; ‘tain’t. I done been dar ‘fore dis, honey.” A BOTTOMLESS PIT. Mr. BILLinos (at home)—''T doan’ know whevver yo's used ter playin our game, Mistah Lambert, but dat yer slot in d’ tebble 's called d’ kitty, an ebery time yo' wins a han'’yo' drops in a quarter.” A TRAVELER'S STORY. ONES has just returned from a flying visit to the land of bier and sauerkraut, “And how did you find the hotels?” asked some one. “Oh, pretty fair. The beds were good, but the sheets were not quite large enough for handkerchiefs and a little too small for napki A SLANGY EPISODE. Broom —" Whiz! Pann * Rats, comicbooks.com