Judge — May 24, 1890 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 103 MET HIM HALF WAY. CLERK in a government office who was an ardent disciple of Izaak Walton applied for leave of absence—not for the first time—alleging that he wished to attend his sister’s wedding. “T've no objection,” replied the official, “to your sister getting married now and then, but—you might at least bring me back some of the fish.” SHE PAINTS. HE paints all day—with wonder 1 have gazed Upon her screens and plates—it seems for weeks She paints and paints, so I am not amazed That she from force of habit paints her cheeks! A WINNER. HIE TOOK them all to the county show: His pig rotund, his dog also; itis duck and his big Shanghai A wondrous mob they made, forsooth, As ranged in front of the Wayback booth They bugged each farmer's eye. He got first prize at the county show— Not for his pig nor his dog Bruno, Nor his duck nor the Shanghai gay. ‘The parchment read, ‘* We award the ban ‘To Barnabas Nathan Gillington, For himself as the best real THE CHIEF MAGISTRATE OF SMITH’S CENTRE. M* TABITHA BROWN had been elected mayor of Smith's Certre by a majority of one hundred and three votes over and above her opponent, Miss Clarinda Robinson, and as a natural con- sequence Mrs, Brown was in a state of nervousness and joy from the moment the vote had been declared until she had taken the oath of office. ‘The canvass had been a pitter one, but victory was seen g to the banner of the Brown faction a week before the day {ter Miss Clarinda Robinson had been completely routed in the debate upon * Sprinkling-carts or dust?” Miss Robinson had conomic or “dust” side, while Mrs. Brown, with a due -gard for cleanliness and clothes, advocated the general adoption of sprinkling-carts for the village and had won her point. From that = time on the Brown following had grown day by day, until Mrs. Brown had received the overwhelming vote that made her mayor of IN TRIM FOR BUSINESS. the gentle burgh. Avyt Hanwant—" Why, Hiram! what fev you been a-doi ike These events Mrs. Brown reviewed .1s she sat in the mayor's - 4, ,,UNCLR Hinama—" I've jest been ‘lected a trustee of th’ Gillville savin's oank, mother, an’ I kinder fixed m'self up with th’ ole buffler-robe. All the nob immediately after taking the oath, awaiting some word from financeers dowa to York wear ‘m this way.” council, which was then in session. A bill which had just passed the council was brought in by a messenger and broke in upon her train of thought. ‘The new mayor picked up the document and read it through, then she re-read it, Her signature was.necessary to make the bill a law, but to save her life she could make nothing of it. It was something relating to streets and the paving of the same, and after reading it for the third time she came to the conclusion that it must be all right because the council had passed it. Mrs. Brown picked up a pen and tried it nervously. It seemed all right and she dipped it in the ink. “A law,” she mused, holding the pen aloft, “a law made by my name, Shall it be Tabitha Brown or Tab- itha Oates Brown—which is legal?” She wrote both on a sheet of paper and looked at them sideways. The latter looked the best, but she had never used her maiden name before and she wondered whether she had any right to thrust her family thus upon public documents. The Revised Statutes which she consulted shed no light on the subject and for a few moments she sat wrapped in thought. Suddenly an inspiration burst upon her; she dipped the pen in ink and, opening the document, wrote at the bottom of the sheet, Mrs, John’ Brows May And the first public act of the chief magistrate of Smith's Centre passed into history bearing the name of the timid little grocer who at that moment was tying up a pound of sugar, little dreaming of the fame which was his through the simple signing of a law. r,s. TWO OF A KIND. é HERE was an ambitious young daughter _ THE PORTER'S PLAINT. T Whose father couldn't support her ; Me - red ob d railroad persuasion, gonnlemen,” So she tried all her very best tricks * re fei yo' raarpteate Till a husband she caught, Mr, Piex ‘A feller on d’ train comin’ down gub me a quahter wiv a hole into it, an’ But, alas! all for naught, when I kicked, he took back d quahter, an’ tole me t’ use d’ hole fer t’ bury mahseff in.” For he, too, was in just the same fix, comicbooks.com