Judge — May 17, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BRIDE’S ‘THOUGHT. (4G HALL tell you, dear, what I thought of when he ring was on and the prayer was said?” (They were safe in their flying carriage then— ‘Two lovers just newly wed.) ““ Not of the peace that ended fear; Not of the years we hope to know ; Tut I only thought—oh, forgive me, dear— Of the man who loved me so— “Your friend who stood by my bridesmaid’s side At the altar's railing—our chosen two. He had longed so dearly to call me bride, But, darling, you never knew. “And I only thought how it seemed to him— The offered vows and the glad replies— And somehow the lighted church looked dim Through the tears that filled my eyes.” ‘Then, laughing lightly, thus answered he: “Tis very strange how these things occur ; Your bridesmaid, dear, was in love with me, But—I never thought of her !" 3 MADELINE $, BEIDGES. asi BY A VETERAN DIPLOMATIST. ER ask any one to give you his word of honor. If you are talking to an honest man it is superfluous; if to a rascal, useless,” AT THE DIME MUSEUM. Visitor (to living skeleton) —" You seem to be about as bony as they make ‘em.” Living skeleton —"Yes; \'m the summum bonum.” PERTINENT EMBELLISHMENT. e “Ain't it early for th’ picnic season? I see you've been decoratin’,”” SINEER —"' This ain't a picnic, Chauncey's goin’ up the state on a special, an'T always put that on when f haui him,” THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE FOR, ‘*P)ETECTIVES are like variety in one respect.” “1 don’t understand.” “They are the spies of life, you know.” HE DIDN’T ENJOY IT. Mrs. De Peyster —"And how did your husband enjoy the opera, Mrs, Hendricks?” Mrs. Hendricks —" Henry didn’t have as good a time as usual.” Mrs, De Peyster —Why, it was one of the finest productions of the season.” Mrs, Hen- dricks —*1 know; but the woman in front of Henry didn't CURATIVE MISERY. have a big Mr. Ci Kathie, dear?" hat on, and Mr. CONNeL “* Kathie, dear?” Mxs. Co Pfwhat's botherin’ yez 7" the poor fel- Mr. ConseLt.—* Tell me wanst more how th’ ould pig died phin Oi low couldn't was away at me wo dodge once Mas. CONNELL —" Sure, Oi've told yez a tousan’ times alriddy.’ CONNELL —"' Lave me hear it agin, Oi bo a chinder in me eye ‘uring the gas-house an’ OF want t" ery it out.” entire opera. DIED WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN. FOUND oon a tombstone in a cemetery near a neighboring city: “Here lies the body of Gentleman Jack Smith, who was for over thirty years the efficient and honored treasurer of the Park avenue theatre. These, his dying words, will always be remembered: ‘This ticket’s n. g."” AN INFALLIBLE SIGN. Fronson—"\ think the Halseys have deserted the woman's rights movement.” Howard —" Wave you heard them say so?” Bronson —"No; but Mrs, Halsey is letting her hair grow out long and Mr. Halsey has had his cut short.” EVERYTHING INTOXICATES THERE. CAGE Mrs, Cumso - cre’s account of a youth in Kansas who was seized with all WHEN THE QUESTION WAS POPPED. the symptoms of ion after eating Bologna sausage.” Oup McWuer (ial asleep) —" Doan’ be chirrupi Mr. Cumso —* That's nothing, Kansas is a prohibition state.” th’ harse, daughter, We're goin’ like th’ banshee alridd; comicbooks.com