Judge — March 1, 1890 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

He tc nt ng, | | JUDGE 341 “wish to say to the congregation,” said the minis- ter, “that the pulpit is not responsible for the error of the printer on the tickets for the concert in the Sunday- school room. ‘The concert is for the benefit of the arch fund, not the arch fiend, . We will now sing hymn six, ‘To err is human, to forgive divine.'"—New York Sun. The record of a death published in one of the re- ligious papers says of the departed brother, ‘* For two years preceding his death he was a constant reader of this paper. He was a great sufferer, but grace sustained him.” “The Congregationalist exclaims, “ How sad that he did not take to reading some other paper in time.” When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she had Children, she gave them Castoria, Fifteen years ago Henry Hill of Council Bluffs swore that he would not shave until Susan B. Anthony was elected president. ‘The other day his whiskers, which were three feet long, became entangled in some machin- ery and were mostly pulled out by the roots, and he is probably pretty well cured of his foolishness,—Detroit Free Press. Mrs. Wixstow's Sootitnc SyruP for Children Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhea, 25 cents a bottle, The stage hero never talks in a simple, straightfor- ward way, like a mere ordinary mortal. _‘* You will write to me when you are away, dear, won't you?” says the heroine. A mere human’ being would reply, ‘Why, of course I shall, ducky, every day.” But the stage hero is a superior creature. He says, ‘* Dost see yon- der star, sweet?” She looks up and owns that she does see yonder star; and then off he starts and drivels on about that star for full five minutes, and says that he will cease to write to her when that pale star has fallen from its place amid the firmament of heaven,—Wew York Tribune, Have you used Packer’s Tar Soap for the Complexion or Shampooing ? Its use is a luxury; imparting clear, soft, smooth, healthful skin and vigorous hair; cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases ; prevents Chapping. 25 cents. All Druggists. (2-For sample mention Judge, and send 4 stamps to THe PACKER M'r'c Co., 100 Fulton St., N.Y. VERY BEST ALL-TOBACCO CIGARETTES On tho Market, SMOKE NO OTHER. Consolidated Cigarette sve Dando 6448.1, tMUAS Within the last year a dozen shooters in the west and southwest have been cleared on the plea that the de- ceased ‘made a motion asif to draw his gun.” It made no difference whether this motion was toward the ear, nose, foot or hip-pocket. Any sort of a motion isa gun motion when a dispute is in progress. — Free Press, Senator Vance says a constituent of his ina pine-woods district of North Carolina to whom he sent a copy of one of the patent office annual reports, spoke to him of the occurrence in this way: ‘*Gineral, I got them speeches o' yourn, but I couldn't read ‘em through. ‘Thar was a leetle too much Whig docterin’ into ‘em.” “No, Hiram,” said the young girl, sadly, ‘I cannot be yourwife. Weare too compatibie.” ‘* Compatible!” he exclaimed ; ‘* isn’t that the very reason why"— ‘Not in your case. I should probably jnsist from motives of economy on dispensing with a servant and in doing my ‘own housework, and you would probably let me do it, Hiram."—Chicago Tribune. Senator Evarts got off a good thing on a gentleman at aparty in Washington about distinguishing between a canvas-back and a red-head. ‘*An infallible test,” he remarked, ‘‘is in the length of the bill.” Just here he was completely broken up by a lady who leaned forward and interjected, ‘' But, senator, I never serve either can- vas-backs or red-heads at my table with bills.”” We read the following astonishing sentence in the e: torial page of the Chicago Times‘ Upon Milwaukee dawns often great truths bearing upon famous localities.” Chicago, it will be remembered, is a city of very wide culture. It has the biggest auditorium and the largest slaught—we beg pardon, abattoirs—in the country. ‘The gilding in the auditorium is solid gold leaf, and the blood in the abattoirs is a perfect Mississippi of gore. It is all very large and yellow and red.—Buffalo Express, “Throw physic to the dogs,” and use Angostura Bit- ters for good digestion and a healthy appetite. Sole M'frs, Dr. J. G. B, Siegert & Sons. Some first-rate lies have been printed by the newspa- pers. since the 1st of January, among them the story about the fish caught in the Iowa river with ten thou- sand dollars in bonds and other bric-A-brac in its interior, and the tale about the fall of a two-ton gold-laden meteor in Texas, This encourages us to believe that when summer comes sea-serpents of unusual size and quality will appear at all first-class summer resorts and that Jer- sey mosquitoes will be equal to the wildest flights of imagination,— Rochester Post. Biedler was as intrepid as he was fertile of resource in danger. One time at Miles City he came out of the door of a saloon to find himself within twenty inches of the muzzle of a 44-calibre revolver in the hand of a noted desperado, on whose trail the deputy-marshal had oft- times camped. ‘'I'm goin’ to blow the innards out of your skull, you vigilant hound !" quoth the bad man. * Not with that thing,” said X, In a conversational, but semi-querulous tone ; *‘it ain't cocked.” The bad man threw up the pistol to see if Biedler was right, and made the mistake of a life which ended right there. — ‘St, Paul Pioneer Press. i TO CONNOISSEURS The unusual fine qualities of the famous ‘Cabinet Sekt," a German champagne, will prove an aggreeable surprise. THE CELEBRATED PrianNos Aro at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St., N.Y. SOHMER & CO., Purcapatenta, Pa., 1318 Chestnut Street ; Cuicaco, Ttt., 236 State Street : San Francisco, Cat., Union ‘Ciub Building? Sr. Lovis, Mo., 1522 Olive Street’; Kawsas City, Mo., 1123 Main St Bushyhead, the Cherokee chief, who is spending the summer in Washington this winter, was met on the street yesterday by an old acquaintance. ' ‘* Look here, Bushy- head,” said the white man, ‘I believe you are up to some mischief. What are you staying in Washington so long for?” ‘I am here for my people,” said the Indian. “* What are you doing for your people?” ” The old chief drew his friend aside and, affecting the manner of se- crecy, said, ‘*I am lobbying for Senator Morgan's scheme to ‘send the negroes back to Africa.” ‘ What have your people to do with that?” ‘* Why,” said Bushy- head, ** when .we have succeeded in deporting the ne- grocs then we will introduce a bill to deport the white people. That will put the country in the hands of its rightful owners."— Washington Critic, Ask your druggist. “TL wonder why it is,” remarked old Snoodle, ‘* that I should be continually visited by commercial agencies in reference to my financial respons Tam not ask- ing credit anywhere.” ‘ True,” said his friend, “* but your only daughter is now eighteen,""—Society. The Kodak. “You press the button, we do the vest.” THE ONLY CAMERA THAT ANYBODY CAN USE WITHOUT IW- STRUCTION. PRICE, $26.00. Loaded for 100 Pictures, For sale by all Photo. Stock Dealers. Send for copy of Kodak Primer, with sample photograph. The Eastman Dry Plate and Film Co., ROCHESTER, N. Y. Agencies for Esrenscuei's Celebrated Hats are about be- ing established throughout the United States. 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