Judge — February 1, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AFTER THE FUNERAL, I noticed they packed his pipe in with old Eagle’s-claw, but how’s he goin’ t' smoke it without matches ?” Him Apache. No need 'm where he go to.” BACK TO BALDWINVILL HAD it all fixed up to stay To Car'line’s six months anyway ; ‘That was the length o' time she named, And—wal, I do feel kind o' ‘shamed, But I'm jest countin’ minutes till it back to Baldwinville, I thought ‘twould Le easy as pie Ketchin’ up city ways. But my! I've seen more folks a minute here Than folks to home see in a That T've felt jest dog-lonesome, Knowin’ a one o' the hull lot. e's stores enough here, high an’ low ; Car'line she thinks I'm dretful old ; There ain't no sociableness though, Dresses me up an’ lets me hold Ain't nary one, I'll be bound, ‘The babies. Land! I fairly ache Where anybody sets around. ‘Thinkin’ what works the bo; I'm gittin’ hungry for a sight I want to git home and commence O' Hen Hill’s grocery Sat'day night. Haulin’ rails for that back-yard fence. I know it’s tarnal foolishness ‘The way I hanker for a mess O' dock-an’dandelion greens ; I know jest how well Car'line means, But scems as though I can't set Till they p'int me back to Baldwinville. masta a. onree. CHINESE MAXIM. ‘NEVER judge a man by the umbrella he carries; he may have just left an old cotton one for it at the restaurant he last patronized.” YET HE LOST IN THE LONG RUN. Wife—"1 must have thirteen dollars.” Husband —“ Thirteen, my dear, is an unlucky number, I'll make it twelve.” And ever after she asked for fourteen. CONVENTIONAL LIES. Mr. Sympathetic—*1 would sooner cough myself than hear any one else. Mrs. Spanker —"1 don’t understand how that woman next door can whip her children so.” Miss Deceit —" That new bonnet you're wearing is v. Mrs. Pecksniff "Good-bye, my dear. I enjoyed your call so much and am only sorry you can’t stay to tea.” Mrs. Kindly—You don’t know how grieved I was to hear of your bereavement. 1 felt just as sorry as if T had lost one of my own children.” Mr. Houseful —" it breaks my heart to lose my daughter, but take her, young man, and God bless you.” Miss Hifligh —" George, you mustn't spend your money on me so foolishly." DOUBLY USEFUL. Mr. Frerys (the village tailor) —" When yo" gwine U pay me fer dem clothes, yo" Si Rapley g ‘pose I's gwine t° pay fer dat suit when a’ knees bag like dat? ‘ood mawnin’, sir.” —"‘ Lucky I stopped at Squire Haggin’s coop fer dem chicks as I cum “long. Dey’s bof good fer "xeuses, an’ good fer (' eat.” comicbooks:com