Judge — February 1, 1890 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HONESTLY SUSCEPTIBLE. Mus, Choven (very guietis)—'"1 wouldn't put my hands ia miy Useie Jere (from Colorado) —* Mev to, if that pretty gal’s g kets, if T were you, Uncle Jefferson.” n't’ set next tome. *Fraid I'll hug her like a grizzly ‘f U don’t.” HUM OF THE COURT. THE PAPERS of Albany refer to one of their assemblymen so often that one half suspects he is a great Hitt WE DO NOT believe that New Vork policeman really stole the thermom- eter. He merely arrested it for disorderly and inexplicable conduct. THERE IS some good in every nature. Here is little Gumboil, who jilted Miss Fortescue, graciously and sweetly dying at the age of twenty-nine. A POOR WOMAN of Keno: Wis,, was investigated, and eighteen hundred dollars was found in her bustle, We shall begin to wear a bustle to-morrow. CHARLESTON has already begun shipping strawberries north. That fact goes far, in this season of rains and blizzards, to atone for the several guns on Sumter. ODESTY is a beautiful trait, but there you draw the line. ‘The modest man dies of the beautiful trait and neither he nor the trait is heard of forevermore. ROSINA VOKES advises girls who have no special aptitude for the ¢ to keep away from it. What! if they have plenty of jewelry and sever divorces? THE PEOPLE of Portugal are so mad over the Zambesi matter t are pulling out each other's hair, . however, is not the way to snatch England bald-headed. HEY SAY that Ben Butler's right hand is calloused as a result of hand-shaking. ‘That isn’t reasonable. His check is calloused. He doesn't shake hands with that, does he? SIX POLICEMEN of St. Joseph, Mo., have been robbed of their boots while on duty. Sleep is a good thing, but it is costly when it is had at the rate of twenty-five cents a snore. PAPER says Chauncey Depew is as fluent with his feet as his tongue. Not quite; if he were he would dance a perpetual jig and kick the steeple off of every church in town. THE WINGS of a fly make three hundred and thirty beats per sec- ond. That being se, let th vestigator go on and find out whé that lost power, or what the beats are for. A CAUTIONARY SIGNAL. Wipe-awakk puck —"' Low bridge, fellers !" ACCORDING to C. P. Huntington the way to get rich is to go to Africa and buy rubber for a penny a pound. A way to keep rich, let us suggest, is to buy sons-in-law at the same price. Q’ VIC'S rheumatism is growing worse. It may now be said to have spread to her disposition, and that is doubly bad in view of her age and the character of a few of her grandchildren. ‘PHE: WIFE of a man in Bay City, Mich., was overwhelmed when her husband gave her a beer-check ins! of the fifty cents she had asked him for. She thought he had been searching her pockets. says the American press has treated her so unfairly that she never return to America. The influence of the Amer- ican press is not to be sneezed at even if the critic has the grip. HE EDITOR of the Vosce frankly admits that brandy and wine are sful in disguising poor cooking; but he does insist that the poor cooking would be better without them. COYVINES.” says the Philadelphia Press, speaking of a recent re- ception, “ were neither obtrusively used nor obtrusively tabooed.” That is the happy medium that should prevail on all occasions of that kind. THE EDITOR of the London News says that when he pulls off his boots, lies down in the gutter and tries to blow out the moon he is drunk; but it is no credit to his sobriety to confess to what everybody knows to be true. HE GOWNS of the justices of the supreme court of these states cost one hundred dollars apiece. One woman has made these gowns forty years, and if she should die freedom would shriek and justice would gasp its last gasp. EMIN PASHA has recovered suffi- ciently to want to go back, to make vain endeavors to kick himself for h; ing come away, and to wonder dreami ly at the quality c so nearly caused him to break h civilized neck. DAvil REDDY of Barnwell coun- ty, S.C. knelt and prayed for a negro and then tied him to a tree and shot him to death. David evidently thinks murder is a Christian preroga- tive, but is the very soul of generosity in recommendations to mercy after death. comicbooks.com