Judge, 1890-01-11 · page 6 of 16
Judge — January 11, 1890 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"The Wish-Bone"** is a sentimental poem mocking romantic idealism. A couple shares a wishbone: he wishes for her love through hardship; she wishes for an expensive satin dress. The joke's moral suggests materialism trumps romance—she "wins" her trivial desire while his romantic wish succeeds almost accidentally. **"Two and Yet One"** jokes about marriage, using the legal concept that married couples become "one person." The husband yawns because being alone (with his wife as "one") bores him—a jab at marital tedium. **"Hobson's Choice"** presents a judge falling asleep during a lawyer's argument, then claiming he was listening. The irony: the lawyer's dull voice caused sleep despite his attention. **"Singular"** mocks a man unable to recover his winter coat from his tailor—suggesting tailors routinely retain customers' garments indefinitely. The cartoons show skating mishaps and a stained-glass artist faking memorial work. These are lighthearted domestic and social observations rather than political commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
and plenty of capital behind us.” and we haven't yet received a single letter from ‘Old Subscriber.’ JUDGE THE WISH-BONE. HEY were dining—he and she, Chattering incessantly — ‘When the waiter, old and tried, Brought them chicken nicely fried. Grand it was to see her wade Thro’ her portion with white teeth ; Teeth that cut it like a blade, To the wish-bone underneath, Then, when it was free of meat, She in accents soft and sweet Whispered, ‘* Make a wish with me." “Certainly I will,” said he. Both a moment silent thought, ‘Then he on the wish-bone caught. Now the tug of war began “Tween the damsel and the man, Till at last it snapped in twain— She had won it, that was plain. Il me what you wished," said she. “That you might my darling be ‘Thro’ all sorrow, strife and care— My existence you might share, Was your wish like that at al Yo; she answered, ‘you might call Mine a vain one. It was this; ‘That I yet may know the bliss Of a satin pearl-trimmed dress Unexcelled in loveliness.” Happy are these wishers two, What each wanted has come true He has won the damsel fair, She the gorgeous gown doth wear. poral has this tale, my friend, ‘That he who gets the shortest end May also get at last what he Has wished for most tremendously. TWO, AND YET ONE. A YOUNG married couple. “Why, Charles, if I didn’t actually see you yawn just no “Well, dearest, you know that we are now one, and I never can keep awake when I'm alone.” FAILURE PREDICTED. Editor —\ don’t think the paper is going to succeed.” Manager —* Why, we have a big circulation, lots of advertising, Editor —" Yes, 1 know ; but we have been running now six months Stain LASS ARTIST: in Dakota, so I made this St. Cedric’ over by jest addin’ a rope. than half what a new one would.” HOBSON’S CHOICE. N COURT. 4 A lawyer who was pleading a case noticed that the judge had fallen asleep. “But since there is no one to hear me,” he went on, raising his voice— “Pardon,” replied the judge waking up with a start, “it is precisely because I was listening to you that I fell asleep.” SINGULAR, seWELL, Bill, the number of obstinate people in the world'— downright pig-headed folks— is just incredible. Do you know there's a fellow that's had my bran-new winter overcoat ever-so-long. and I can’t get it away from him?” “Who is it?” “Why, my tailor.” A FAKED MEMORIAL. ESANT —"* Is that it?” “Yes, mum. You told me your brother died sudden It'll cost you less is Mr. Snooks and Johnny Brooks ‘Are feeling very dry; ‘So each one his Partic'lar wish ‘To satisfy does try. Now Mr. Snooks’s large skate-hooks In Johnny's tangled get; ‘And Mr. Snooks Comes down so hard That you can bet they're wet. comicbooks.com