Judge — January 11, 1890 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 223 THE TREACHEROUS JACK-KNIFE. READ IN AN ALBUM. ++ NOTORIETY is only a shining garment with which the public clothes certain unfortunates in order to take better aim at them when their brief heyday shall have passed.” “It is in politics as in arithmetic—often figures very insignificant in themselves assume really astounding proportions from the number of zeros massed behind them.” SANCTITY WAS WHAT SHE WANTED. Lady —"What a sweet odor of sanctity comes from those roses! How tuch are they a dozen?” : Flower-store clerk—* Three dollars, That's very cheap for those flowers at this time of the Lady—"Yes; it may be cheap for the flowers, but it strikes me as altogether too high for the odor of sanctity.” WANTED TO MAKE SURE OF HIM. George —" The ring doc&n't seem to fit very well, Clara, Hadn't 1 better take it back and have it made smaller?” Clara—" No, George; an engagement ring is an en- gagement ring, even if I have to wear it around my neck.” BY A MYSOGONIST. ‘ANITY is so incradicable a quality in a woman's nat- ure that if you were to announce to a number of them that they were about to be hung in the presence of twenty thousand people the first thought of each of them would instinctively be, “Great heavens! and I haven't a dress fit for the occasion.” FROM A PROFESSIONAL STANDPOINT. WILLING TO FIND ONE. AN OLD beggar is seated in a door-way with a placard hung about his Bank cashier —"\ can’t discount that note unless you get a respon- neck inscribed, “ Blind from birth.” — Another mendicant passing by reads the inscription and comments thus: “My eye! didn’t he begin the biz youn sible man to indorse it.” Mr. Bagley —" Say, you don’t know of any responsible man around NOT KIND. se 2 here, do you, that wants Senile millionaire with young wife listening to Miss to indorse a note?” McFadile sing “Oft in the stilly night. M—* Oh, Miss McFaddie, please sing it again! How it carries me bacl Young wife (behind her fan) —" Carries you back! 1 wish to goodness ‘t would leave you there!” TWO OPINIONS. Wyoming settler —You didn't sce nothin’ of Jim Sparks down the road, did yer?” Friend —" No.” Wyoming settler —" Jim stole my daughter last night. zed —* You don't say! Jim always was a good one.” Wyoming settler —*Yes, and he tuk them two hosses of mine.” Friend —" The infernal scoundrel !" Uneasy Dick—‘*’Pears ter me he’s doin’ fairish well.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. ROMANCE is the down upon the peach, the moonlight on the water, the dewdrop that lies per- fuming itself within the heart of the rose, the sentiment of sympathetic expectation that sleeps within the heart. The bloom fades, the moonlight vanishes, the dewdrop is sucked up by the sun, and the fateful hand of experience robs the heart of its most cherished jewel. Sometimes to the fanciful it might seem that there is a certain amount of happiness to supply the needs of the world, as there is a certain amount of water which rises in the tides, and that some souls, like some points of coast-line, must be left dry and parched in their hour that others may in turn be flushed and renovated. There is a current in man’s life which prevents it from stagnating. He may ponder inconsola- ble upon the poverty and the emptiness of life by the withdrawal of living waters, and even while he pauses in inaction a new volume arises and the emptiness is filled. : Unwise ambition is like a cannon pointed into the air, which not only fails of reaching any . ‘The present appearance of the average Chicago man, mark, but explodes with disaster to the artilleryman and danger to bystanders. KATHRIN GROSJEAN. comicbooks.com