Judge — 1889 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS FROM JUDGE. CHOOSING A HUSBAND'S A DELICATE THING. the same token, that yer mortyfication in the primises isn't ayquil ONG have I waited, and long have I sighed, to!pocr Dan's," Longing at length be somebody's bride; “Oi hope not,’ sez Oi, takin’ a sly squint at the flicker of Many have wooed me, but no one has won, plisantry knewn was jipodysin the milancholy of her fay- And faster, still faster, the fleet years run. chures ; ‘Oi hope not, Mrs. McNulty; but isn’t it_moighty Neier cant manoge te mene op oy minds ssuagin’ to yer grafe to contimplate the foine sind off ye gave ‘Time almost daily new suitors wi'l bring the departed?” . . aks . Choosing a husband ’s a delicate thin; “«*Viry assuagin’,’ sez she, ‘an in’ yer prisince, Mr. McZim- Soon will bee over life's season of spring 5 merman, it samed to take the rusht out of me soul, so to shpake, I ~ w yersilf thrippin’ a rigadoon at the wake, an’ Oj ed, not ownly the same shtoyle of fut; but the ch’rac- How my Sida kena ta Te eee S ic agytashin of the limbs of the desayzed. Moy! but the choose! = a heart-rindin’, Mr. McZimmerman. , How my lips burn, they so often refuse ! ,’ sez Oi, ‘Mrs. McNulty !' quoite pitrifoied wid the f How my strange heart by its tension is Consate that she'd tuk a conthract to do the sparkin’ hersilf. gee ioneness fortorn “It’s thrue for ye,’ sez she, ‘an’ along o' dhat Oi niver luk é Three new proposers are waiting my at Dan’s wardthrobe but Oi say to mesilf, ‘‘How very be- word, comin’ these same wud be to Mr. McZimmerman.” Ye do so Three more are coming to-day I have remoind me of ’im.’ Which on my finger shall fasten the ring? “<It's_mitygatin’ to the sarcumstances to lerrun as much,’ Choosing a husband 's a delicate thing! sez Oi, gettin’ the notion that s s growin’ personal. Soon will be over lise eeaeat! of spring 5 “Ah, she wint on, ‘an’ Oi nivir pull a corrk out of a de- canther that Oi don’t hizitate long enough over the fume to RHODA DENDRON, remark, ‘ How sartint Oi am that Dan's frind, Cornalyius, wud inj'y this, for he does soremoind me of ‘im. THE WIDOW : He has the same McNULTY. bloomin’ roosh of hilth to the provose Indade ye remoind me of ‘im.” Is Chooalag a husbands a delicate thing! Choosing a he eer ya delicate thing! “YEZ may talk aboot yer widdys,” said Mr. McZimmerman to a ae ’ “T's plazed Of am party of (friends at the i to lerrun the resim- Smoking Potheen one s “ 5 Dlance, tho’ it’s shmall day, ‘yee may ‘talk . fault. 0” mine, Mrs aboot yer_widdy : : all ae oar — Ly dtherin’ was there any parspicooity of janius inghurance aginy her in this regard an’ ray- og : cays cpa 1 sonable intimacy wid Z f i 3 ; <n coorsenol, Mr, the parts of shpache— ee Comnalyius,’ sez she— sayin’ ‘nothin’ of her 2 Seato-at E takin’ ahoult of me be charums—the widdy ae , 2 E 5 me Christian cogno- McNulty was the Fetes 82 is eet most shtupindousest wi i: : in coorse nol, Dut igzariple it roy. ax-" dhe tienen ae cree ee an armone fein the same the resimb- parience. lance is that shtroikin “Whin Oi furst tuk the soight of her afther the wake wid a toidy sarcumferince ov whoite tully aboot her chi faychures, the mosht refoined an’ illigantest shpit curls on aitch timple an’ a karpulint pocket-buk snuglin’ intil” her fisht, sez Oi to mesilf, says Oi, ‘It's a bloom- so it is, that poor Dan MeN culdn’t hev lived long enough to illigant widdy his woife ’d be makin’, mebbe the same brith sez Oi, ‘Mrs. M ef ther wan thing more sartint nor dith that same is that Mr, McZimmerman is moighty pre- car'us to callin’ on ye,'—an' be the same token that gintleman was ooshered intil the leddy's presence wid the dark of the evenin’, “B'ys !"—and here Mr. McZimmerman halted long enough to assure his auditors that he knew he was loaded and intended firing a fift calibre statement into them—“ Bly i “talk aboot Vaynius an’ Cleopathrick an’ Hilen an’ the loike o' them—they were jist oogres be the side of her. Ef Agymimnon an’ Parysoite an’ Appolynarius an’ ” the risht of thim Throjins had iver sot eyes on the widdy McNulty, it's a sartint thing they’d be foightin’ till the prisint toime, so they wud. Howandiver, Oi was ooshered in, as Oi was tellin’ yez, an’ ef the Impriss Ujaney iver salyuted wid a moore graceful bind fo the back, vibited in the dooin’ of it a foiner frinylogical igspanse be- chune the ears, thin I niver hearn till of it. ‘Widdy McNulty,’ sez Oi, droppin’ on the taty-tate be the soide of her, ‘it's moortified Oi am that Dan wasn’t permitted to postpone his desayse for many a year to come.’ UNAPPRECIATED. “*Thankin’ ye,’ sez she, ‘Mr, McZimmer- Litre Epwix —*Pop's in the next room, 'n he wants to know if Mr. Gashmouth couldn't get man, for yer consylation, but Oi’m hopin’, be through a little sooner if he used this.”* comicbooks.com