Judge — 1889 — page 43: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST NOT ACQUAINTED WITH THE NEW BUSTLES. Beckie ANN—‘ Due tell, Jeremiah! this 'ere bonnet that you got me in York is the queerest thing I ever d eyes onter, I can't tell the ‘fore from the “hind, and i it "Il take is powerful.” that whin ye kem in at the doorw lind of yer hid an’ the raych of y i usin’ to be ki: isapp'inted—'dade an’ Oi w ‘Bys,” continued the relator, ‘*Oi'm not in- tymatin’ that Oi consaded to the suggestion, nor that I was glad to eshcape from the primises, but Oi do be in’? that a captivatin’ Oirish widdy loike Mrs. MeNulty can raachea cloimax wid moore bewildtherin’ axpedition than the bisht diplomat in her majesty’s sarvice.” WADE WHIPPLE A TERRIBLE REVENGE. y beyant the NACH ste | } mwas | RARE Fy) then a maximum of 1} » minimum of skirts wa THINGS FROM HE SEES “ EVANGELINE.” Good old Deacon Brown whisked the dirt off his store- clothes with a han’ ful o’ hay and started for town to ‘tend the evan- gelists’ meetin’, He saw a great sign board with staring red letters on it and spelled out as far as. em’s ’em,” he remarked to himself and followed the crowd. ifty cents,” said aman at the door. . “Then you don't take up no collection? Don’t pass no plate?” “Fifty cents. Buy your ticket. He entered the meetin’. Just with a doing a solo of devotion which paralyzed Deacon Brown of Podunk. “That's a scripter riddle a picter of the gal old Herod. An’ she'll capter John the Baptist’s head, sarten. Great Scott! but ain't she cuttin’ up dreadful !” Good Deacon Brown of Podunk stayed through the meeting, but concluded to say nothing about it at home. He has had light given him to sce that evangelist and “Evangeline” are not the same sort of thing, but he doesn’t feel at all equal to explaining the difference. Be careful when you are skating. It's a bad time to get in a hole. If you must fall, do it gracefully. The — bad blames his JOM ALDED, skater kates The bandy - legged man is now in his _ glory. 4 Thereis many a slip 2 "twixt the man and the ice. The novice in the ulster ps the ice p é swept clean. Rrewet You can find many a small boy on the ice th days before school is out. Even as the moth and the candle, so is - the fool and the “danger” sign. Perhaps the bustle should go, but in these days it lets many a girl down casy. There are two things which consta in value consciences and vio- lins. It is mighty curious how bigsome sins look until after a man has committed them him- self. When a man gets good that he is fied with himself begins to warm his gridiron. JUDGE. A LITTLE MORE THAN HE EXPECTED. SHAKESPEAREAN AMATEUR (after the performance)—-"" Do. tell me, Mrs. Krittick, how did you like me as the fool ?” Mas. Krittick (enthusiastically) were so very natural, you know. found a better man for the part.” xcellently. You They could not have THEY ALWAYS DO WHEN IT’S SINKING. Captain (ia mid-ocean)—‘ Well, Smith, how do things look ?” Mate—“ Pretty bad, captain, ‘The vessel is Still, all hope is not yet gone.” ‘I'm glad to hear you to the present time not a rat UARE H AN mit \ Ma] \d i comicbooks.com