Judge — 1889 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BEST THINGS LOVE'S VIGIL, I watched her window for four long hours, Waiting to catch one glimpse of her ; On her window ledge I could sce my flowers, As the night wind made her curtain stir. The mellow light through the curtain soft Came sifting, glimmering over the way, And I thought how many a time and oft My heart had gladdened at that bright ray. “Will she never come? Does she not sur- mise L wait for a glimpse of her dear form ? Ere she closes in sleep those dear, dark eyes, Will she lift her sash ?” (for the night was warm.) the moments crept apace ill the mystic hour was twelve times told, Still no sign of the dear one’s face For a fond * good-night,” as in days of old, But soft! She comes! My sweet Ishall see at last. Gr ar's bones! They have shifted around, across the street, And given her room to old Bill Jones! SHE HAD NO QUALIFICATIONS, There was once a man great in dramatic affairs to whom applied a little maiden who had ambitious dreams about the stage. “So you want to actress?’ queried the man, And the little he did. The great man yarded her. She was young and pretty, which was an ad- vantage; but she looked modest which might be a drawback. “What have you done?” asked he. “T have had a thorough course in clocution. I have played in amateur ”— “T don’t mean that! What have you done that will probably make you notorious? The road to stage distinction is already crowded and one needs unusual qualif s if one expects to rise. The little med hardly to comprehend. “Tam willing to try very hard,” she know that one must toil long and patiently. Yet the thought that I may some day be reckoned among the v orious "— s! I know of but one, She made a hit when she married Schelling and another when she left him, but I fear the profession has lost her. You never eloped, did you?” “Oh, no, sir!” (vehemently.) ‘or shot a married man ?” Tercy, no!” (with horror.) er mixed up in any scandal ?” be an MisTREss. BripceT— FROM JUDGE. “Never! never!” And the little maiden looked hurt and indig- nant. “Can't anything be brought up ag: some way ?” The little maiden’s cheeks, were very red and there was an out- raged look in her eyes, which were blue and honest. ‘0, sir!” she entreated, ‘Believe me, I am as pure as a lily "— “Langtry 2” he asked eagerly. “No, sir! No, sir! My honor is inviolate "— “Cameron? he cried. The little maiden burst into tears and the great man’s counte- nance fell as she brokenly but stoutly maintained her innocence. He wished to help her, but he saw it would be of no use, “My dear young lady,” he said rather regretfully, “I am sorry you lack the first and most important qualification necessary to popularit: Times are not as they used to be. Women do not become actr and make reputations. They lose reputations and become actresses.” So she went away sadder and wiser, And she saw as she passed homeward (it being late in the afternoon) hundreds of ladies and gentlemen waiting at the door of an unopened theatre, that they might get tickets for the first appearance in America of n imported actress who had been married four times without the ction of the church or state, and divorced as often without appealing to the law. My tale is done ; the moral tot any reader misses— ‘There are no morals. Ib ‘To stories such as this inst your character in THE CALLER'S HYPOCRISY. Mistress —** What did you tell those ladies who just c called?” Bripcet—* Oj told them that yez was no And what did they say?” mum. HE STILL NEEDED THE REMEDY. Wanperer (excitedly)—"' For heaven's sake landlord! give me a drink of whiskey. I've been bit by a rattlesnake.” Landlord pours out good sized dose, which wanderer takes with evident satisfaction to himself and the sn: get bit, up WANDER this ‘ere hotel stands.” Lanpiorp—“ Impossible ! built here twenty years aj Wanperer—' Good day." LANDLoKD (sympathetically)—t Where did you | ‘Thompson's wood: “No; right on the spot where | ‘ell, that’s when I was Dit IT CAUGHT HER EYE, Acrst—‘I have some new mottoes for the home, ‘madam, that I would like to show you,” Womax—‘‘I've got ‘God Bless our Home,’ the ‘Old Oaken Bucket,” and ‘Home, Sweet Home,’ now, and I don’t believe I want any mor! Acrst—‘‘ Yes, madam ; but this one has had a very large sale.” Womax (reading)—"* ‘Let us Have Peace.’ take two of those, young fellei ui) HE EVOLUTED. There was a boy of modest mein, Who longed to cut a fi He longed to do some migi ty deed And win fame for his jigger. He went up ina great balloon Attached to an umbreller; They sifted gravel and they found is?” | A quart of this rash feller. This house was! If you can't afford a turkey geta picce of roast pork: The people next door can't tell the differ- ence by the smell in cooking. comicbooks.com