Judge, 1889 · page 23 of 72
Judge — 1889 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several brief satirical sketches mocking social pretensions and human nature: **"A Slip of the Tongue"**: A mason climbing a ladder is caught admitting he orchestrated an elaborate prank—apparently claiming credit for the recent earthquake itself as his "initiation" joke. **"Initiation Extraordinary"**: The longest piece satirizes Freemasonry rituals. During an actual earthquake, masons performing a third-degree initiation on Isaiah Twombley can't distinguish real disaster from ceremonial drama. The candidate begs to postpone—he's had enough ritual without actual danger—but the masons persist until the quake forces genuine evacuation. The satire targets fraternal lodge secrecy and their absurd pomposity. **Other sketches** mock domestic hypocrisy ("He Wished the Other Kind"), romantic philosophy, and charity. The **illustrations** show period-appropriate figures—the tramp, the housewife, the lodge members. The "Object of Pity" sketch depicts a homeless man, with a country woman's pitying comment visible. The humor relies on recognizing Masonic ritual as both ridiculous and secretive—targets of 19th-century satirists.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BEST THINGS ROM JUDGE. that the whole terrible racket was a part of his initiation. customer comes into his shop and alludes to the earthquake he w turn pale and whisper : “ By George, I was the man they were working it on.” HE WISHED THE OTHER KIND, ‘The housewife saw a shadow as it moved across the floor, ‘The substance was a blear-eyed tramp who hammered on the door. He asked for bread. You ought,” she said, ‘*to be.ashamed, I vow ! No man should live who does not eat his bread in sweat of brow.” “Excuse me, mum," the tramp replied, ‘you don’t quite catch I guess; You see, mum, I wuz lookin’ for the bread of idleness.” A SOUND POSITION. Hr—‘‘I don’t believe there is a man living who loves home any better than I do.” . Sur—*‘ You're never at home. Commanvixc Orricer—‘‘ Well, adjutant, what is new to-day ?” Apjutaxt—' There seems to be an inexplicable apathy in the THE ONLY CORRECT TIME PIECE, ‘Traveter (in holet)—‘‘ How's that clock? Right?” Cu “Yes, sir; that's the only clock in the house that's right, and that’s ten minutes fi WHAT AN UNMARRIED PHILOSOPHER SAYS. “Do you know what gives a woman the most satisfaction 2" “MECyONRIR BEL evan” “ Her beauty, of course.” : Kekateing 8 PeFminne fo. ‘ “<Not her own, but the absence of any in some other womat INITIATION EXTRAORDINARY. I believe I violate no obligation of the fraternity when I relate the genuine facts in relation to the masonic initiation which took place during the earthquake, [am a free mason and far be it from me to expose any of the sacred secrets of the craft. We were working the third on Isaiah Twombley, a respectable young man in the hardware business. Garbled accounts are in the papers saying that the young man ran into the streets with a cable around his waist, when every good mason knows that in the third degree it would be a hawser and located under his arms. ‘Twombley was very nervous, and at 9 o'clock p. m. sharp he was lifted off the goat in a fainting condition. ‘The saddle had just been removed from the goat and the gong had sounded for the junior and senior deacons to ar the twenty-four swordsmen in due form and nt order for the candidate to leap over their gleaming blades. ‘The rising sun and the setting maul were in their proper places, and the bon tooch v bout to sound low twelve, when ominous rumbling was heard and Twombley whispered to the blood-red janizary on his right : “Boys, go light. I am naturally nervou: It AN OBJECT OF PITY. is late, and if you can omit any of the ritual 1 Courassionate op LADY FROM THE COUNTRY (reading sign)—"'Poor fellow ! L wonder if he is want to go home. My wife will worry. deaf, too.” he cannon balls were rolled over the floor and the bass drum dropped over his head while the worshipful arose sword in hand, when the floor shook and several windows were broken. “See here,” said Twombley, ‘ give me the rest next week. I want to see a man. I don't goa cent on style. ‘This masonry is a big thing, but I ain't no hog. I have got enough for this time.” The boys did not know what was going on, but ermined to work the whole degree, and called for the tiler to come in with the bowl’ of blood. andidate was lifted up and placed on the exe, ready to be fired down the room, when the great lights went out, the chimney came down through the roof, the floor opened, quake was upon us. ‘Twombley gave a yell of terror and dived headlong out of a window. When he struck the street several chimneys struck it at YOU CAN'T STOP IT. the same time and the ground opened at his feet. } CuonustOnten Ente He ran down the middle of the roadway yelling ‘ Sedans COWLET (ang Inia nDali aint like a lion, and to everyone who asked him what y fairl, My foot's ketched in dad's rake he le? was the matter he replied that the masons had been here las’ summer!” working the third degree. He has lucid intervals x when he can do up stovepipe, and jerks hardware around as well as usual ; but he sincerely believes 2 comicbooks.com