Judge — December 28, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HANDED IN BY SLUG NINE. When I think of the towel, the old-fashioned towel, that used to hang up by the printing-house door, I think that nobody in these days of shoddy can hammer out iron to wear as it wore, ‘The tramp who abused it, the devil who used it, the comp who got it when these two were gone ; the make-up and foreman, the editor, poor man, each rubbed some grime off while they put a heap on. ‘In, over and under, ‘twas blacker than thunder, “twas harder than poverty, rougher than sin; from, the roller suspended, it never was bended, and it ‘a the wall like a'banner of tin, rougher and harder and tougher, and daily put on a more inkier hue, until one windy morning, without any warning, it fell to the floor and was broken in two.— Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria. When sho was a Child, she cried for Castoria. When she became Miss, sho clung to Castoria, When sho had Children, she gave them Caatoria, CARL PRETZEL'S PHILOSOPHY. Vhen you run yourself off a tangle-feet race mit bleas- ure, you vas aboose der vorld. Der bestest firtues vhich i ackder vas wisable in actif life. Der firtue of a goot feller vas oxhibited vhen he shumps himself der shtumble down blocks of dis life ofer. Vhen you vas foolish enuff to adopt one leedle sin your family in, pooty gwick you will hafe to been der fadder of all its kindret. proof der hooman ghar- No Christmas and New Years’ table should be without ostura Bitters, the world-renowned appe- fe flavor. a bottle of Ai tizer, of exqui Beware of counter! When we sce people that have a stare-way about them we are apt to imagine them a little flighty.— Yonkers Gazette, C, C, SHAYNE, MANUFACTURER OF Sealskin Garments ano ALL Leading Fashionable Furs, WHOLESALE and RETAIL. Specialty made of Gentlemen's Fur-Lined Overcoats, Caps, Gloves, and Steigh Robes. UWA West 424 Street and 108 Prince Street, NEW YORK, FASHION BOOK MAILED FREE. The Marquis.’ Directions “ How to Order,” prices, ete., mailed free, on application. Address N. ESPENSCHEID, NEW YORK. THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ‘Are at present the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists, Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St. W.Y. SOHMER «& CO. Pa., 1318 Chestnut Street; Cnicaco, San Francisco, Cat., Union Club Building? § 1 3522 Olive Street’; Kaxsas City, Mo., 1123 M YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. Louis, Mo. Te grew thicker and | | WOMAN'S WAYS. It is said that every woman who lectures on woman's rights carries a razor in her band-box. When a woman pays special attention to her toilet it is a warning to some other woman to look out. Nothing suits a cross man more than to find a button off his coat when his wife has not time to sew it on. When you find a woman who does not enjoy being a martyr you have found a woman who has short hair. There are only a few certainties in the world. One of them is the mother ; you can always depend upon her. When you find a good man you have found a man who is trying to deserve the admiration of an honest woman, A boy who imposes on his sister will impose on his wife as aman. Mothers usually teach their sons to im- pose on their sisters. When a girl gets married and has a hard time we all feel sorry for her, but we really ought to feel sorry for her mother. It is pitiful that when a woman wants a favor from her husband she sends her daughter to ask it, and when he wants a favor from her he knows his best me- dium is his son. When a man gets down there isa rush of men and women to help him up; but when a woman gets down there is a rush of men ‘and women to kick her farther down the hill tchison Globe. KAISER WILHELM 11, prefers the famous “Cabinet Sekt" champagne of Kloss & Foerster in Freyburg to all others, because it is the best. ESCAPED, From the nib of the humorist's pen, And post-prandial speeches of me: Front the heights on which medicine sits To decide if the theory fits ; From those who its merits have tried, And perhaps in the interim died ; From prominent places of vi Conspicuous when it was new From the hopes that environ old age, And of youth, which must never grow sage ; From a breathless and wondering world, Whose lungs didn’t like being furled, ‘There's escaped, without leaving a trace, Like a meteor bursting in space, A boon that was bristling with strife, First called the elixir of life. —Boston Transcript, Mrs. Wivstow’s SooTHinc Syrup for Children ‘Teething ; soothes the child, softens the gums, allays all pain, cures wind colic and diarrhoea, 25 cents a bottle, The San Francisco, Chronicle says that ** Lucky" Baldwin went to a hotel in New York recently for a rest. He was only going to stay a few hours in town. It was about three o'clock when he registered, and he wanted to take a little sleep before he was called at ten. ‘The gentlemanly clerk recognized the name and the man, and looked pleased to have a whack at the long purse of the California millionaire. several hours’ sleep and was called at ten o'clock as, ordered. He went to the office and asked for his bill. It was handed to him—thirty dollars. Mr. Baldwin looked at it. “Tam very much obliged to you for wak- ing me at ten o'clock.” "fT had slept a few hours more it would have busted me." + BENEDICT’S TIME. Diamonds and Watches a Specialty. | Importers and Manofacturers, WATCHES, DIAMONDS, CHAINS, Rich Jewelry, and Silverware, BENEDICT BROTHERS (Keepers of the City Time), Benedict Bullding, No. + 170 Cor. Cortland Street, New York. Established 1821, Broadway, + Baldwin had his | It is clear, when at theatres during the waits ‘wixt the scenes in the stage panorama ‘he men wander out for the stuff that elates | “That the drama’s the place for the drachmer, — Yonkers Gazette, THE vy FOR ADULTS ANDCHILOREN ca PPA GERRONS) WHISKE: pumas tates ie OF THE COMFORT IN Ox SHAVING DEPENDS ON THE SOAPUSED ied S00? £27-For sample sond 3 cents to 55 John St,, N. ¥. TRY ot Dusiee Guana. rr Os a0 2. “Georny Ktoynoigg Durrant from ining Mca ey aoe aa ea PREMIERE QUALITE CIGARETTE. SUPERB ARTICLE. The standard of purity A ury, and not a low-priced article. Our Vanity Fair and other smoking mixtures are 16 First-prize Medals, tobaccos prevents that dryness of the throat usually produced by smoking other brands. prejudice to prevent you from giving this incomparable cigarette a trial, and excellence. The faultless union of two matchless Do not allow It is simply perfection, and a lux- the finest for the pipe. Wm. S. 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