Judge, 1889-12-21 · page 5 of 18
Judge — December 21, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **multiple short jokes and satirical pieces** rather than a single political cartoon: **"Two Kinds"** contrasts two philosophies—one accepting fortune's gifts through intellectual pursuits, another anxious despite security—apparently about different responses to life's uncertainties. **"A Horse Joke"** is a simple pun: a donkey as a "key" to escape. **"A Suggestion to the Secretary of the Treasury"** satirizes government bond circulation by joking that new bonds are printed on Judge magazine copies to ensure people actually read/distribute them—mocking the bonds' unpopularity or the government's promotional desperation. **"A Wonderful Change"** uses racist dialect humor about a revival converting Uncle Zeke, with the "change" being his voice shifting from tenor to bass—period-typical minstrelsy stereotypes. The remaining pieces are domestic humor and wordplay without clear political significance. The page reflects Judge's mix of satirical commentary (Treasury bonds) and conventional period humor (racist stereotypes, puns).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TWO KINDS. DNTENT I sit and smoke and gaze, Nor care how trade may change or veer; I read and study many ways That lead from now to afterhere. The winds of fortune have been kind, I dally not with gains or boughts, Hers. For in the treasures of the mind Web his te ARevorh I have my thoughts, ver, muzeLe Dent Slam mY Why, then, will shades distress my dream? Wil Boone orrne My path is free, my day is clear. Why do I shrinking scan the stream, Nor seize the helm and boldly steer? Because within a certain mind T equal just a row of naught In worldly ways she is not blind She has her thoughts. JON JAMES AREMAN, A HORSE JOKE. whinnied the horse, “we ought to be able to get out even though the stable-door is locked. We have a key here.” “What kind of one?” brayed an ass in the’ next stall. “Why, a donkey. A WARNING. THALt-nov —I d’spises dem p'tic'lar gents frum d’ souf.west !” A SUGGESTION TO THE SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. Wall-street banker — Did you buy those government bonds, Mr. Howells?” His broker —“Ves, sit.” Banker —* They don't look familiar, somehow or other.” His broker —* No, sit. They're printing them now on copies of JUDGE, so as to insure their circulation.” A WONDERFUL CHANGE. Gentleman —"\ understand you attended the revivals held here last month, Uncle Zeke.” Unele Zeke —" Nes, sah; an’ Uncle Zeke am berry diffrunt eber sence de “vival.” Gentleman —* Where do you find the most change in you, Uncle Zeke ?” Uncle Zeke —* Yat ar shoutin’ an’ hollerin’ an’ singin’, Massa Petahs, hab turned my voice from a tenoh to a bass. Wondehful change, Massah_ Petahs, wondehful !” mh ne A FALSE HOPE. lessie, can you come over to see our new border this afternoon 7” With pleasure. Is he nice?” Je? Why, I mean the new border on our hall-paper.” Ob! You will have to excuse me, deary; I almost forgot my engagement with Florence this afternoon.” A ROUNDABOUT WAY. THE small boy sat on the curb-stone, playing in the mud of the gutter. “He reminds me of Dom Pedro,” remarked a passer-by. “How's that?” inquired his friend. “Well, he’s a gutter-percher, and gutta-percha is rubber, and rubber comes from Brazil; see?” A SLIGHT DIFFERENCE, Bagley —" Yes, Vaskins is a great student. You should see him poring over his old roots.” Bailey —" Old roots and herbs ?” Bagley —"No; old roots and verbs.” SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WANTED. Old lady —*\'d like to buy some plasters, young feller.” Drug-clerk —" Yes, ma’am ; porous ?” ae Old lady —" Do ye s'pose | want to ketch my death 0° cold? A DETRIMENT TO TRADE. Let's see yer winter styles.” Dratex—'T ain't had a blested inquiry terday.” comicbooks.com