Judge, 1889-12-21 · page 6 of 18
Judge — December 21, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines humor pieces typical of late-19th/early-20th century American satire: **"The Chase"** presents a poem about hunting, where ten youths depart armed but only three return—likely satirizing the dangers or incompetence of amateur hunters. **"Use Dr. McPhitts Hair-Oil"** is a product advertisement showing a bearded man "before" and clean-shaven "after," claiming the oil's effectiveness. The adjacent article "Why the Foreman Was Bounced" jokes that a print worker lost his job for accidentally transposing the advertisement's images. **"Rules for Skaters"** offers humorous winter sport advice, including the famous joke about a bald grandfather—poking fun at absurd literal interpretations of social etiquette. **Other pieces** include brief comedic dialogues about relationships, farming, and domestic life—typical Judge fare mocking middle-class manners and behavior. The page is primarily **light humor and advertising**, with no apparent political commentary. The content reflects turn-of-the-century American domestic life and consumer culture rather than substantive satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE CHASE. res nee OW doth the truant take his gun Chin” be aid te Bis wit, = We Neves: | re ae die,” mid Maram Mecha. Seeereree Tale Abd le a eo diy Gonibagale © (SESS oreo [te oe ae we Of lordly youths, in unison Gy . m= RX rss ee Pa) ! : » With curs of high and low degree. | & ir e Zansy Zeer Give pity, 0 ye ladies faire— t cme But not for bunny, high and free. At morn ten youths did forth repair; Returned at midnight only three. BY A MISANTHROPE. 64] 7 1S with love as with soup—the first helping is always too het | and the last too cold.” A NICKNAME. Visitor — What is your son's name?” Mother — Stocking P. Smith; but we call him Socks for short” Pree rpem end oe vk ata oe, ta bom WHY THE FOREMAN WAS BOUNCED. He transposed the cuts in McPhitts’s ten-thousand-dollar advertisement. : RULES FOR SKATERS. [CE_an eighth of an inch thick isn’t ice any longer when you try to skate on it. Some men dance well anyhow and some can never learn—that's the way with skating. It looks much better when cutting fancy figures on the ice to use your feet rather than your head. Never give your sweetheart a’ pair of skates for Christmas if your rival skates better than you; it is not wise. In taking out accident-insurance policies always s'ate whether you know how to skate or are about to learn. If you are skating with a girl and Both of you fall it is more polite to let your partner fall on you than to do the reverse. LACK OF REVERENCE. SSYOU must not make fun of your grandfather, Tommy; you should always respect gray hairs. “Yes; but mamma, how can | when he’s bald ?" HIS REGRET. WHALEN (who has been sea-sick all the way over) —" Kill me fer a noteral-born fool av Oi wouldn't a walked achrost mesilf av Oi'd knowed th’ way!" “THINKETH NO EVIL.” A EADY is being examined in a police-court. Magistrate—" Well, madam, one thing at least seems to be certain; your husband beat you.” Witness (apologetically) —" Yes, your honor; but then he always was such an energetic man.” A VOICE FROM THE FARM. ACIEDE bought a Sunday edition, And turned it o'er and o'er Till mind and muscle were weary At the columns of “ads” galore. ‘Then, thumping the table, he muttered, “Them *ads* to the prize-fights annexed Leaves jist brags of last week's edition ‘And boasts of what's comin’ out next."* UNDER OBLIGATIONS. Chicago mother —" Weren't you and Mr. Wheezy cold in the parlor to-night? The furnace fire went out. ‘iii ACCOUNTED -RORGDISTURDANCE. Daughter "Nes; 1 was a little chilly at first, mamma, . Mas, BEAuREGA —‘' Who's dat cracki: s dis ‘ime o” night 7” but after a while George's arm kept me from freezing. 1 ins, BEAuRnoAnn —'° Who s dat cru ts dis yer tinne 0” aight? if ft Lirtir Pick com the trunle- ‘aint no one, mammy, Sistah Sa’ Jane’s shall never forget his kindness. combin’ out her kinks,” comicbooks.com