Judge, 1889-12-21 · page 12 of 18
Judge — December 21, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising with one notable poem** satirizing judicial corruption. The main satirical content is a poem titled "They Can Be Bought," which attacks wealthy defendants who escape justice through bribery. The poem's narrator confesses to having personally purchased a judge and notes bitterly that juries can be bought for "only fifteen cents." The satire targets the American legal system's corruption during the Gilded Age, when wealth could literally purchase favorable verdicts. The concluding reference to "the Rochester Jury" suggests this references a specific, likely notorious case. The remainder of the page consists of period product advertisements (Scott's Emulsion cod liver oil, Carl Upmann cigars, Oneita spring water, Steinway pianos, etc.) and a humorous dialect piece featuring "Carl Pretzel's Philosophy"—ethnic humor using German-inflected English, common to Judge magazine's comedic conventions of the era. The page demonstrates how satirical magazines mixed serious social criticism with commercial advertising and ethnic comedy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
180 JUDGE Angelina Wheatpit —* Mamma, I wish next time you go shopping you would get mea pair of slippers.” Mrs, Wheaipit—'*Any special kind, my love?" Ange- fina—" Well, 1 like the Louis Quinze slippers myself, but they are not much worn just now." Afrs. Wheat- pit—" No matter, my dear. If Mr. Louis What's-his- hame makes good ‘slippers there ain't no reason why you should not have ‘em."—America, The Cod That Helps to Cure The Cold. The disagreeable taste of the COD LIVER OIL is dissipated in SCOTT'S EMULSION Of Pure Cod Liver Oil with HYPOPHOSPHITES or LIME AND SODA. The patient suffering from CONSUMPTION, BRONCHITIS, COUGH, COLD, on WASTING DISEASES, ‘may take tho CARL UPMANN’S BOUQUET CIGAR. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS. All genuine Cart. Urstann’s Bovover Cicars have a band bearing his name, as in above cut, This is the finest three-for-a quarter cigar manufactured in the world. For the past cig! Jeading jobbers in the United States. popularity and volume, and to-day of sale by all firat-class Hetail- ‘ersand by the following well-known Jobbers: Rasa W. Wale & Co, New Yor. ‘The Wertera News Co." Geo, Wright & Seco Wellaner Sah ONEITA Careful analysis shows that the water from this Spring sesses. pronounced medicinal qualities, especially | valuable in the treatment of Rheumatism, Gout, Dys- and Kidney difficulties. As a Table-water it ‘en high rank and is pronounced by connoisseurs equal to any water now on sale in this country. ¥. Tribune, ONEITA SPRING COMPANY, UTICA, N.Y. J. M. BELL & CO., 31 Broadway, New York. AlN ods ebeaper haa, elsewhere. Betre you ‘eed samp "tor POWELL & CLENEST, 140 Mate Street, tee Clectnnatl, Ohta, _¥. A Pocket-Mirror Free to Smokers of ANSILLENCH 5e A HANDSOME COMPLEXION fs one of the | mer atest charms a woman can possess nplexion Powder THEY CAN BE BOUGHT. “And so the trial is over ‘And the rich man won the case. Well, [ think that such a judgment Is.a shame! a deep disgrace ! But the judge who so decided, Law and justice holds at naught When a case ‘has money in it," ‘As this had—for he was bought. “Not guilty? Well, if ever Man was guilty of a crime ‘That man is guilty ! and his wealth Has saved his neck this time, It hired ‘ great legal talent’ And it" fixed the jury’ too, And witnesses were sent abroad— All this great wealth can do. . . . . I knew a judge was often bought, ‘And I knew the price to pay ; In fact I bought a judge myself (Though of that I've naught to say) ; Bat could one buy a jury too? Has one but to offer gold ‘To have the verdict as he wills, As we have oft been told ? For many years I doubted this, But now I know 'tis true That only fifteen cents will buy ‘The Jubce and Jury too. MR. Jewell in the Rochester Jury. A CHILD'S DIET s his health and strength ; mothers and physicians Rex Wheat” a delight and benefit to children, CARL PRETZEL’S PHILOSOPHY. Der handt of Providence vas stretched always out. Vhen you don'd dook it, dot don'd vas my lookout. Vhen we vas come der vorldt in we vas bring us not ting dherein, Der vay some fellers lif would make der Lord plush vhen he saw ‘em go out. Der shnake vas lie der ambushes of flowers in, Look pooty vell out yhen you got plaindy bleasures enuff dot der shnake don'd shting you mit his bite. Tt vas a certain ting dot drue liberdy don'd can get ub mit der hellup of wice, Wicket mans vas a shlafe und no feller cood been free oxcept he vas wirtuous und got. Sohmer & Co, the great piano firm, can point with pride to the magnificent indorsement their instruments have received at the hands of the best native and foreign musical artists, METHODS OF MEN. When things get serious, women stop talking and men begit They are about even: man takes in the show ; show takes in the man, How rich does a man haye to get before he quits turning his cuffs? ‘The most reliable good man in the world is the man who has tired of wickedness. The man who reflects before making a promise sel- dom has occasion to reflect after breaking it. the ‘The picture of a man was never taken that he did not | feel five years afterward that it looked foolish. Man likes to think the world a stage better than he cs to think that he is an amateur performer on it. It takes years to find out that some men are mean it takes years to find out that other men are good men. ‘The average man is forgotten in two days after his funeral ; if he has been a good man and worked hard all his life he is remembered two weeks,—Aschison RS IN PRIz: R JOB PRINTING OFFI Of Phitadetphia will give this amount in cash prizes for an original design of a show-bill for the World's Fair to be held ia 1893. | The com- Petition will be open to any artist in the United States, Parties ‘wishing to compete should apply for specifications, addressing all communications in reference to the matter to THOS. S. DANDO, Manager of the Ledger Job Office, Sixth abd Chestnut Streets, Philadelphia. Pa A funny and quite ori Romeike’s “Three Hund should have the World’s Fair.” Portions of the book are “writ satirikal,” but they can be skipped by the reader as soon as'he picks them out. ‘The price of the book is twenty-five cents, and it is sold by the author at 110 Fifth avenue, Judge building. inal little book is Henry Reasons why Chicago THE BEST PROTECTION ! THE SAFEST INVESTMENT ! For yourself, your family, your estate, The Non-Forfeiting Free Tontine Policy oF THE NEW-YORK LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY, 346 & 348 Broadway, New York. Norainc Caw Taxg THe Prace or Sounn Lire Insurance. WHY WILL YOU WAIT? Write to the Company direct For Results of Policies now Maturing, and terms, stating your age. eAnBllSig ego? igh Tricopherous s THE HAIR \\ ‘An elegant dressing ex- Wed iqnisitely perfomed, removes fall imparitica from the ecalp, prevents baldners and gray halr, and canres the hair to BPO crow thick: Bott avd Meant MBE Fat. rofaliivietoreuriogerap- tions, diseases of the glands, mnscies and integument: relieving cuta, burns, bruises, sprains, &¢. Price, 60 Cent Druggists, BARCLAY & CO. and All New York. STEINWAY The Standard Pianos 3. World! The Largest Establishment in Existence. Warerooms: Steinway Hall, New York. rod TE GREATEST INVENTION oy FaMiny fouL HAVEN CANS. ot ovr ot ONE OU PREM WHITMAN & SON, -t Inventors ano Sove MAN'S, ~ PHILADELPHIA: STE SPECIAL.—We will send by mail atrial order of 3% Ibs. on receipt of $2.00. Name the kind of tea you are accustomed tousing. Greatest induce- ment ever offered. Now's your time to xet up orders for our celebrated Teas and Coffees, and Cure a beautiful Gold Band or Moss Rose China Tea Set, Di net Set, Gold Band Moss Rose Toilet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, or Webster’s Dictionary. For full particulars address THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA Co., P.O. Box 289. 31 and 33 Vesey Street, New York, KNOX’ WORLD-RENOWNED FATS. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. Retail stores, 212 Broadway. corner Fulton st,; 194 8th ave. under Fifth Avenue Hotel; 340 Fulton st., Brooklyn, and 191 & 198 State st., Chicago. Agents for the sale of these high class Hats can be found in every city in the United States Crosse & Blackwell's FRESH FRUIT JAMS, Made from English Fresh Fruits AND REFINED SUCAR, Are Sold by all Grocers IN THE UNITED STATES, GREATAMENCAN, i ‘The choicest flour is used in making Bent & Co.'s Crackers. comicbooks.com