Judge — December 14, 1889 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Is a wrought-iron, Dination-lock safe’; sizes, and sells from $35 upward, | including cost of delivery at any rail- j,road-station east of Rocky Mount- ins, Send for illustrated catalogue. M. CLEMENTS, Cincinnati, O. Established 1859. BARNEY & BERRY SKATES CATALOGUE FREE. SPRINGFIELO.MASS West Shore Railroad N.Y. ¢. & H. it. R. R. CO., LESSEE, VIA WEST SHORE OF WORLD-FAMED HUDSON RIVER. POPULAR ROUTE FOR BUSINESS AND PLEASURE TRAVEL. Magnificent Steping Cars Without Change, w York and Boston to Buffalo, Toronto, D Toledo, CI Sleeping Cars New York to Torn Exclasirlr by this Route Tickets via West Shore on sale at all ti United States and Canada. Ask for tickets via West Shore and see that they read via this route. cet offices in the POPULAR THEATRES. NEW YORK CITY. MY— 14th st..cor. Irving place. Eve. 8:15: Sat. Mat. 2, ‘more & Tompkins, Proprietors and Managers. QND YEAR” DENMAN THOMPSON, THE OLD HOMESTEAD. HAPPINESS / ASSURED. Dr, Williams’ Indian Pile Ointment will cure blind, bleeding, and itching piles when all other ointments have failed, It absorbs the tumors, allays the itching at once, acts as a poultice, gives instant relief. Dr. Williams’ Indian Pile Ointment is prepared only for piles and itching of the private parts, and nothing else. very box is warranted. Sold by druggists, or sent by mail on receipt of price, soc. and §1.00 per box. Wittiams M'r°G Co., Prop’s, Cleveland, O. LEM HILL'S FUNERAL. He Had a Proceasion and All the Arrangements Were | Satisfactory. Another of the queer characters in White Horse camp was a man known as Lem He was as mild as buttermilk and as dull as a hoe, and no one ever thought of asking his advice or interesting themselves in his affairs. One day he took sick, and after a period lasting about three weeks it was seen that he must die, Tt was deemed best that some one should break the news to him, and so‘ Judge” Kelso dropped in and said: “Lem, you are going to turn up your toes before an- other sunrise.” ‘The judge didn’t mean to be sudden or unfeeling, but that was his way “T guess Iam,” quietly replied Lem. Well, that p'int being settled and no exceptions taken, what last request hev ye got to make? We want to do the fair thing, you know, although it’s a busy time.” “Kin I hev a funeral?" queried Lem, “You kin.” ** Reg'lar procession?" uve *Tdon't expect any coffin, of course, but I'd like to have the affair pulled off ‘reasonably decent. You kin plant me on the hill beside the Frenchman, I guess we won't quarrel.” “Ves, we'll do that, though it's putty hard digging up thar.” “‘Needn't_ mind going over a couple of feet,” said Lem, ‘and the feliers with the body hed better take the left-hand path as they go up ; it's easier to climb.” “Got any wealth?” asked the judge after a moment's silence. ““A couple of otinces, mebbe.” “* Mighty slim show for a big spread on that, but we can't help it. Well, Lem, it's my busy day, you know, and I must cut this short, Hope you won't take of- fense.” “Oh, certainly not. Don’t neglect work on my ac- count. Sunthin’ said at the grave “Just a few words, Lem, and I'll say ‘em myself. T'll practice up this afternoon and git some whisky to clear my throat, I want to make a decent job of it.” “* What'll you say “Why, that you died happy—hev left an aching v —we shail all ‘miss you—cut down in yer prime. I put it on purty thick. “Well, I'm sure I couldn't ask for more, and per- haps it’s ‘better than I could expect. So long, judge. Go back to your work and I'll go on with my dying. ‘And the judge left the shanty whistling, as was his wont, and Lem had been dead over an hour before word came to us down in the gulch, ‘The funeral came off next morning, and it has always been a pleasant re- membrance with’ me that the judge did considerably better than he agreed to. He gave two eulogies in place of one, and after the burial he licked one of the men who wouldn't knock off work to attend.—Chicago Herald. id i CONSUMPTION SURELY CURED, ‘To THE EDITOR—Please inform your readers that I have a positive remedy for the above-named disease. By its timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been permanently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy free to any of your readers who have con- sumption, if they will send me their express and post- office address. Respectfully, T. A. Stocust, M. C., 181 Pearl Street, New York. A FEW FOR FUN. Barter (to granget) —"' Your head is very dirty, Granger —" It's none of your darn business if it ‘gest PHYSICIANS. RS : Sokoct tin Holiday Announcement. RICHEST SILKS AND BROCADES For Evening, Dinner, and Reception Dresses. Paris and Vienna Fans, London Umbrellas, High Art Novelties, Highest Class Leather Goods, Hand- kerchiefs, Gloves, Lace Novelties, Fine Linen Damasks, Lunch Cloths, Novelties in Embroidered Linens for Table Decorations, * Fancy Chairs, &., &c. 126x128 Cheahint Sk. COLLARS & CUFFS BEST IN THE WORLD BASIALOLEMISHES thet beenest ‘OODBURY, Dermatologist, aie nosis iat 7b es ‘oO cents lac Wood! ecaip: Por sale at al BLANK. BOO A large assortment kept in stocl.and KS. books of every description mace to order. Estimates cheerfully furnished. FINDLER & WIBEL, Stationers, 146 Nassau Street, New York. best Candies tn the World, put up CA iD in handsome boxes. All’ strict Bera aable for presenta Try te onee, ‘Address ©. UNTHEE, Confectioner, 212 State St..chicage $1.25, $210 or $880 for a fetall Sons by expromeinepa eesti New York and east of Denver,of the Epoch. ‘aminer —* Can you give an instance of a perzon inciting another to perjury?” Candidate —"* the court asks a female witness how old she Siftings, She got herself wedged in the doorway and kept a score of people waitin a male growler. “Yes,” replied the woman sweetly ; “‘of course you do, What a pity the sentiment isn’t returned !"—Boston Transcript. Irate politician —"' Look here, you published a lie jut me this morning—an infamous lie! I won't stand it.” Serene editor —** But just think where you would be if we were to publish the truth about you."— Terre Haute Express. CANNOT BE 1F You “USE And steady work right at homo Write $3-75.A Da EDENTANY PEOPLS \ Fentienon, Laos ¥outhay the atniets cr Ws mavalld, X compicte gymnasium, Takes tip but on. squaredone-ropmt nem. 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