Judge, 1889-12-14 · page 14 of 16
Judge — December 14, 1889 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, not satirical content. It showcases luxury goods and services aimed at affluent readers, with minimal editorial cartoon material. The notable text snippet includes a brief joke about "Johnny Smith," a former office employee now imprisoned at Sing Sing (a notorious New York penitentiary). The humor relies on dark comedy about criminal consequences—typical of late-Victorian sensibility where references to lengthy prison sentences functioned as punchlines. The advertisements emphasize status markers: imported wines and cognacs (Piper-Heidsieck champagne, fine spirits), the newly-prestigious Remington typewriter (which won a Paris Exposition gold medal), luxury pens, and tropical vacation steamship travel to escape American winters. The layout reflects Judge's dual purpose: satirical magazine for educated, wealthy readers combined with revenue from high-end product endorsements. The content assumes readers could afford champagne, fountain pens, and Caribbean vacations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE INAN OFFICE BUILDING OR (4 q Mi ECESSI- CATR OAS AN ELEVATOR. wry aL- CHUTES) LOW YOUR MAIL TO BE HANDLED BY J | IRRESPONSIBLE MESSENGERS WHEN TrREGULARLY AND FREE "NOW IN ROCHESTER.N.Y. GOLD MEDAL, PARIS, 1878. W. BAKER & CO0.’S Breakfast Cocoa Is absolutely pure and te te solubte. No Chemicals fare used In ts preparation. It has more chan scarce times the strength of Cocoa, mized and le coating lass than one cent a.cup. It ts deitelows, nourishing, strengthening, Ean SILY DiGESTED, and admirably edapted WwW. BAKER & CO. Dorchester, Mass. What shall CHRISTMAS P Patented Feb. 29, 180. The Harmless Pistol For Home Amusement, wirt Tim: Rubber Vacuum Tipped Arrow and Target, Engels everything, for bors, girls, every~ Ei aflou post-paid for 75 cents. Rubber Tipped Arrow Gow Cor. Cornhill and Washington St, ‘Boston, Mass., U.S.A, Qn exhibition and sale at the American Institute, New York city, and Maritime Exhibition, Boston. ELEGANT HOLIDAY PRESENT. Fountain and Stylo Pens. Good, Rellable Stylographic Pen for $1. Fountain Pen, $2. Star Fountain Pen, $1.50 and upward. Best Writing Pen Ever Offered to the Public, AT A PRICE WITHIN THE REACH OF ALL. Unequaled for Business or General Writing. THE INDEPENDENT PEN Is 9 14 kt. GOLD PEN Fountain or Reservoir Holder, and ink-stand and Gold Pen in one. ticited G $ WANTED. J. O. ULLRICH & CO., 108 Liberty Street, N.Y. 5 an EBFITrs: je the disease ‘ody. Twa wre failed $9 20 Betis of my inca Sag H.C. ROOT, M. out. Ofhen. “Sire Ege os year! Stroet, New York. 183 Pearl St “_PISO'S CURE FOR 3 CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAS. fo timo.” Bod by ragga, CONSUMPTION & ‘good. Use No Snow! No Colds! No Galoshes! Nassau-—-Cuba-—-Mexico vi New Steel Steamers, Ward Line. The Winter Gems of the Tropics. The Isies of June—The Land of the Sun. Home of the Creole, Aztec and Montezuma. Send for beautifully illustrated pamphlets, schedules, ete. Free. JAMES E. WARD & CO., 113 Wall Street, New York City. FOUNDED 1836. JOHN OSBORN; SON & CO., 45 BEAVER STREET, NEW YORK, SOLE AGENTS ‘FOR PIPER-HEIDSIECK, SEC. ALSO AGENTS IN THE UNITED STATES FOR Scuroper & Scuvier & Co., Jou. Barr, Sturm, . Geisweiter & Fits, . . Bisquit, Dusoucné & Co., Ossorn & Co., one Vé @ Hijos pe R. Guinre Cassaxes, Forrester & Co., ie Manvuet Gazrétu é Y RIARTE GIROLAMO Luxakvo, Rip Van WINKLE, Wuite ELk Gry, Gien Rosa, OIL, IRISH AND SCOTCH WHISKIES, 0. JAMAICA and ST. *Anterun “Omnibus,” “Antediluvian” and Bordeaux... Clarets and Sauternes Rudesheim 4/, . . . + . . Rhine and Moselle Nuits . 0.0... 4.4... . + Burgundies Cognac ewe Brandles Oporto Sch s, « Seen ma Ports Barcelona and Tarragona) |) ) ) Ports Xeres Sherries Port St. Mary's Sherries Zara Maraschino Scbledams 4eot eaeies koe ee se Gi to. 171.” English Gin + + + « Scotch Whiskey CROIX RUMS. jane” Brands of Pure Rye Whiskles. THE HIGHEST AWARD OF A GOLD MEDAL at the PARIS EXPOSITION WAS AWARDED TO THE. Standard Typewriter. REMINGTON Which has been for Fifteen Years the Standard, and embraces the Latest and Highest Achievements of inventive Skill. WYCKOFF, SEAMANS & BENEDICT, 327 BROADWAY, N.Y. “Do you remember that awfully smart boy you used to have in your office—Johnny Smith?” “* Oh, yes ; how did he come “He hasn't come out. He got twenty years in Sing Sing.—Mew York Commercial Advertiser, May —"* Charlie, you must be careful and not expose yourself. You were out in all that rain last night.” Charlie—"* No, | wasn't. What made you think so? May —" Why, papa came home and said he met you coming from the lodge, and that you were thoroughly soaked."—Kearney (Neb,) Enterprise, ‘The new Sohmer Piano Factory occupies eight large lots, situated a short distance from the gad Street ferry at Long Island City. In building the factory the firm has spared no expense, and can safely claim to possess the most perfect piano-forte house in the United States. YE COLLEGE GRADUATE. He can give the laws of Solon, He can draw the flag of Colon, He can write a Babylonian I OU ; He can make a writ in German, He can draft a Turkish firman, But the English common law he never knew, He can write his thoughts in Spanish, He can make a speech in Danish, And recite such Sanscrit as would turn your brain ; ‘The Muallakat Arabic He can scan in feet syllabic, But he couldn't tell old Shakespeare from Mark Twain, He can fathom all the mystery Of old Ethiopic histo | Ie can name one thousand Norse kings—more or less ; He can mark the Roman bound’ And describe the Aztec foundries, But has never seen the ‘Statutes of U. He can trace the radius vector, With a geometric I, And can give the moon's diameter in fect ; He can analyze the arum, Classify the Coptic carum, But he cannot tell a cabbage from a bee 1, Buxton, uieeic COMPANY'S EXTRACT OF MEAT. Finest and Cheapest Meat Flavoring Stock for Soups, Made Dishes and Sauces, As lcef Tea, “an invaluable toate and a3 agreeable stimulant.” Annual sale 8,000,000 jars. Genuine only with fac-eimile of Justus vou Liebig’s signature in blue across label, as above. Sold by Storekeepers, Grocers and Druggists. LIEBIG'S EXTRACT OF MEAT CO., L’td, Londen, Derby Desks axp FINE OFFICE FURNITURE. JOHN M. TUFTS, 130 Fulton St., ] N.E. cor. Nassau, SSG Sex ron Catatoovr. THE ROYAL DAUBER and Mud Scraper. Rest in Market. No clogging up. No hing down, your dealer has none send agcentsto ne Gowns If PEABODY & PARKS, SALESME alee enae Exsatcarrolacurien ahs nei WSR PMAN SHIPMAN'S FOUNTAIN PEN Is Just the Thing Needed FOR A HOLIDAY PRESENT. $2.00, 82.25, $2.50, 83 00, 83.50, and $4.50 each. Mention Jupcr. Gold Mounted Holders in aailk plush box, $1 each, extra, ASA L. SHIPMAN’S SONS, 10 MURRAY ST., NEW YORK, comicbooks.com