Judge — November 23, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

104 HUM OF THE COURT. TAY still be a few prohibitionists, but they not the strength of their ions or their bever= A PAPER says the result of the late elections amounted to a tidal wave. How ridiculous! It was, of course, a tidal deluge. according to raux Bla shows what women know of birds, The eagle just at this time, dear, is a turkey. HE BEST CURE. for sleeplessness” is your alarm-clock so it will strike every five minutes. Nobody ever yet failed to be sleepy when that clock struck. E HAVE. frequently said that Joseph Benson Foraker should not have called Grover Cleveland a dog, no matter what the dimensions of Grover's collar. THE WORST prohibitionist is the man who would like to prohibit and that is the kind of idiot who calls himself a prohibition- ¢, is to set Uncte Houwack —" Tt w: many’s th’ time. Auntie HOLBACk- IT by the Utica Observer that, the prince of Wales being ight's disease, all his American admirers will have hat disease too; but that is too much to expect A PAPER accuses Mr. Depew of chestnuts. Every man is given to that sort of reproduction; but it must be said that Chauncey puts his chestnuts in fresh, green burrs, precisely as he dresses his casual language. A MEMBER ofa little German band who was found helpless by a po- liceman, owing to an overflow of beer, said in response to an inquiry that he felt as if he were the victim of a band-sagger; whereupon the po- liceman killed him on the spot. NOT EXACTLY A MARTIAL FIGURE. this way, mother—I've heerd my ole gran‘father Gineral Washin'ton stood jest this “Hiram, ef he looked th’ way you do this minute them Cont'nent- als would’r chucked him in an’ pulled th’ ice over him,” THE REPEATED produc- tion of Governor Hill's startling confession, “I am a Democrat,” unavoidably re- minds one of the prisoner's remark to the judge, “I am guilty, your honor—guilty, guilty, guilty.” HAVE ceased to look with expectation for startling news from Henry M. Stanley, because Henry is one of those men who persistently disappoint their friends by not getting into scrapes from which they are unable to escape. AFEW DAYS ago William Mahone weighed ‘one hundred and five pounds. If he could pull himself together sufficiently to be weighed at this moment probably the beam would tip him at con- siderably less than nothing— and that’s his appropriate avoirdupois. y on th’ banks of th’ river an THE WAY to fight an open opponent is to down him; and the way to fight an opponent who assumes to be a friend is to down him twice and then kick him so he will be glad to stay there. There are a few radi- cal temperance men in this state who may understand what these words mean never said that the editor of the Saratagtan was a sneak- , because he never descends to such slight dishonesty as that. What he prides himself on is his ability as an American Jack-the-ripper, and we do not propose to detract from his dignity as a colossal scoundrel. It is well to be fair, and we trust this explanation will suffice. SCOTT" is a name printed in the Sia, ‘The Hon. William L. cott claims to be the greatest railroad man on earth; but he wrote to a slight contemporary railroad, “ For heaven's sake send along that annual pass!” It shocks us to see the name of a with such irrev western miners tha eat_ man used among some THE ATHLETICS OF NEW ROME. TELEGRAPHIC LINEMAN —" Look out there, Italy !! Mrs, Fxincrerrt—‘*Alla right, Irish!” comicbooks.com