Judge — November 2, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 55 THE LINEMAN’S COMPARISON. § OLLING clouds of shattered death, Yells from foemen rushing, Thrust of flashing bayonet, Thuds of gun-butts crushing. “ Men are needed on right flank ; Jump now, boys, to reach ‘m: Hurry up that caisson there; _ We'll a lesson teach ‘m! 1 was there in sixty-odd, Came out very fairly; Lost a finger—don’t count much, Only miss it rarely. Got a touch of rheumatiz, Plagues me when it Caught it down in Lib Th’ Johnnies had us silly, But! Now as pole I clamber up, Wires sizzling—burning, I look back to battle-days With a kind of yearning. CONCEALING HIS IDENTITY. 66] SAY, Brown, you know what a fool Smith is? Well, I met him the other day in Washington and he actually talked like a person possessing strong common-sense.” “Perhaps he was traveling incognito.” PEOPLE WE HAVE NOT SMILED WITH. HE. girl we met at Mt. Desert who sa to us. The young man next door who is learning to whistle “ Marguerite.” The “1” guard who shut us out one full minute before the train started. The fellow who lured us into taking a Third avenue Ital- ian table d’hote dinner. she'd be a sister ‘The old lady who offered us a tract as we came out of a Park row newspaper-office. The man who gave us a straight tip on a horse that stopped to nibble grass at the quarter-pole. The editor who sent back our poem with a type-written letter telling us that he was “obliged to return much valuable matter.” The amateur photographer who asked us to sit for him and then sold ¢"" ads. for a popular cosmetic. The proof-reader who turns our “friends” into. “fiends” and one thousand of the ca as “before us WHOLESOME ADVICE. SOME one had given a beggar two cents, Belisarius weighs them in his hand and then turns upon his bene- factor and in tones of ill-concealed contempt asks : “Well, guv‘ner, and what may yer be ‘spectin’ that I's agoin’ fer ter do wid two cents ? “T'd advise you to give them to the first poor person you meet who really needs them. Beas F A VITAL QUESTION. Dentist (to patient) — Will you take gas to have the tooth out?” Patient — How much is it a thousand?” TOO BIG A JOB FOR HIM. Editor (to basket-maker)—" I sent for you to come and take an order for a waste-basket for use in the editorial rooms.” Basket-maker —"I'm afraid 1 cannot undertake the commission. ‘The largest basket I can turn out will hold only seventeen bushels.” SF 2 IMPRESSING THE FAMILY. & LAZZARtNt—"' Little Pietro goa ze route to-day, Pepita. Jocko sick. Taka changes our sweethearts’ “Jips of rose" into “tipsy nose” without turning an eye-lash. ‘The young person who likes to air her opinions in print, which the first letter of her name is KATE MASTERSON, IN ONE EYE ONLY. Bap woy—‘*De old blind chump won't ‘no de diff'rence if I help meself to some of his nickels.” Buinp nEGGAR—"'I reckon I got an eye to business yét, sonny.” comicbooks.com