Judge — November 2, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE GETTIN’ ALONG. ~ "THOUGH it cums "long ev'ry year, It allus makes me feel thet queer An’ sort 0° juicy round the eyes— ‘The time, I mean, when dead leaves flies, An’ when the birds hee lost ther tune, An’ when the dark draps dowa too soon, An’ through the boughs an’ all erlong ‘The road, the wind its dismal song, ind o° howls an’ kicks up tricks all the crisped-up leaves an’ sticks, An’ flings the dust right in yer eyes; ‘An’ when the dull clouds heavy lies Acrost the sky an’ makes you think The ole year's jes’ begun ter sink Wall, that’s erbout the time o' year Tallus feel so kind 0° queer! The summer-ays hez up an’ fed, An’ most the trees is painted red ; ‘The jay-bird's stopped his little Mute An’ skipped off in his bed-tick suit ; ‘The lily’s head hez drapped down low As o'er it now the chill streams flow, An’ through the air a suddint quack ‘Cums tellin’ us the will-tuck's back. The hick'ry nuts draps off the trees An’ makes a feller think he sees ‘The woods a-sheddin’ of ther tears A-thinkin’ of the passin’ years ; "Cos when the wind blows s'rill an’ cold A feller feels he's growin’ old ; He's sort o° juicy round the eyes The time, I mean, when dead leaves fest SENTENCES PASSED BY [NTERESTING generally means interested. Information resides in the head; knowledge in the heart. There are more ways of falling in love than there are of getting out of it. Anticipate as one will there is always some loophole for the unexpected to enter. One m: the expected. There is no delivery from the flatterer, for his tendencies only increase with age. Justice before mercy, law before love, morality before religion: a measure equally filled before heaped to overflowing. Most questions will answer themselves in time; and the answer not in- frequently comes with a startling emphasis THE JUDGE. y be as disappointed in finding the unexpected as in not finding KATHRINE GROS}RAN, SHOULD NOT BE DISTURBED. “Will madam speak a little lower?’ Mistress —* What is the matter? Have any Servant - of the children been taken Servant —* No, ma'am; but this is the hour for Fido’s afternoon nap.” HIS FIRST-BORN, AND HE WAS UNUSED TO THEM. CANNARTY (to the nurse) —"* Sorta, sorra Mrs. BerkiGax—" What's wrong, sor CANNARTY (in an agony of despair) — sorra th’ day!" h’ kid has no tathe, THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP. THE end of a conversation. “But, my dear fellow, if what you say of this man is true he's a despicable cur.” “You may rely on its being the naked truth, As he’s a friend of mine you'll understand that I would not be guilty of slandering him behind his back.” VERY EXHAUSTING WORK. Clara —"{ wouldn't speak to papa to-night, George, if 1 were you.” George—" Isn't he feeling well, Clara?” Clara —" No; he's very tired and cross, There's nothing that uses dear papa up so completely as cutting coupons from his gov- ernment bonds.” an AFFORDING FACILITIES. STRANGEK —"* Want a good item?" Ciry Eprtor—" Why, yes.” STRANGER—"* Well, I'm just going home unexpectedly with two friends and a set of poker-chips and I thought perhaps you'd like to have your war-correspondent see my wife receive us.” WORST YET. id 1 was carousing around town last Now you've got to contradict that statement. I THE 5,1 hear you night. left the club just after twelve; stopped into the oyster-saloon where I met you, ate half-a-dozen raws and went directly home. ow you've "— Jones —" That's what I said, and now you own up to it.” Brown —1'd like to know how?” Jones—"You acknowledge that you were a midnight raw- oysterer, don’t you? ‘That's what I said.” THE OLD MAID. ALONE she tod life's dreary sage, How long? you ask. Ah, well— Why need the fair one tell her age, When age itself will tell ? AN EVEN EXCHANGE, ETC, Minister —" John, you know that barrel of sermons down cellar marked ‘No. 1°?" John —" Ves, si Minister —"1 wish you would put a new head on it and address it to Rev. Se} Shropshire, England.” Minister —“And, John, won't you inquire at the steamship office and see if there isn’t a barrel for me from Shropshire, England?" comicbooks.com