Judge — November 2, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

54 HUM OF THE COURT. WHEN PRIVATE DALZELL opens his mouth he is in dan- ger of dislocating his ears. AUSTRALIA has a petrified man, and proposes to make him a committee in behalf of a world’s fair. MILAN, ex-king of via, will remain Paris. Wherever Milan remains, that is a good thing for all the other places, SULLIVAN, Sir Arthur, \ says he has made fif- teen thousand dollars out of his“ Lost Chord.” Here is a loss that is provoca- tive of exceeding gain. 66] LEFT my cyclope- dia at home,” said Governor Hill maliciously at Atlanta. Next time, David, take the cyclopedia and omit the so-called principles. HE PURPOSE of trying to steal the bones of Ralph Waldo Emerson is almost as incomprehensible as was some of the dear old boy's phi- losophy. FAITH CURIST do the doctors. doctors s DAvEIGH r. depth of fifteen hundred and eighteen fe It certa goes 0 in the Mediterranean, ly does when the man who rboard gets there. [F IT IS TRUE, as alleged, that the kaiser thinks of nothing but war, we hope the time will come when he will think of nothing but the best way to get out of it. THE CHIEF EDITING of the Star of this city relates to the means to keep the men from strik- ing, and in that respect the paper is a brilliant morning apology. Y TELL of a mar, in Buffalo who swallowed six live frogs. ely a merciful Providence never intended that six live frogs should get in such a stomach as that. A PIANO was “carried nine miles on the Johnstown flood,” but the girl has recovered it and is knocking thunder out of it in all the million rooms in which she is dom- iciled. HE FOOL who is wise in his own conceit is happy; but the fool who knows he is a fool has ac- quired knowledge so. unfortunate that he might better have remained in ignorance. A PARAGRAPH speaks of “El der Brigham Young, a son of Brother Brigham and his three wives and eleven children.” How a man can be a son of that num- ber of wives and children is curious enough to be extremely SHE DEACON ‘THE PASTOR THE DEACON —" Dilbacker, the button-manufacturer of Philadel”. ‘THE PASTOR ays Christian science kills no more patients than ‘There is an argument that will make the sneering nrding to a French scientist, entirely Hi ui HHH} SNA A SUSPICIOUS LATE-COMER. 10 is he ?” * Shut the box !” at work, no work to do, RS. WILCOX says, “The worst man I ever saw had no He must have been tedious company. drel is not smart enough to acquire so much as a type-writer. dear! WOMAN with luxurious hair ases at the VOLUNTEERED ADVICE. Tue countess D'ALLIMoNTe—"*Caspar Dunstan, I demand information as to me son! I saw you with him on the island in the river an hour ago, and have had it searched without success, Where is he ?* Voice FROM THE THIRD GALLERY —"* Why doncher try Sing Sing?” That man at the rear of the church just sent word that he'd like to contribute.” +X . versing with William Edgar Ny ONLY ONE MAN is fitted to be a“ line- man.” We allude, of course, to Mr, Kemmler of Buffalo, who is proof against. all manner of electricity. The law has ‘tended to Asm, F THE OWNER of the Star would swap Shanks off for a less noisy jackass he wouldn't be so much of a jackass himself. ‘Though, to be sure, the change might not be grat- ifying to his peculiar ear. UR CHAUN ¥ says he doesn't un- derstand Virginia politics. There is where our Chauncey shows even more than his usual pru- dence. The less a man knows of Virginia politics the wiser he is. THs TOWN has two thousand actors who are unable to get situa- tions, and the Norristown Herald suggests that they goto work. But they are No man works so, hard and so painfully as the man who has "Poor That kind of scoun- ays she is never at ease while con- She does not fear for her purse and jewelry, but William looks as eager as an Indian who has been scalped himself. MAN who is called a railroad prince takes pains to tell -an anxious public that he has not sold his daughter for a foreign title, but that after mature deliberation he has concluded to buy the foreign title. And what a distinction with a difference that i 5 WE have said, Mr. Curtis is worthy of all respect for the ability of his quarrel with all the rest of the world; but let him shun the company of mugwumps and everybody else will want to live a thousand years for the privilege of shedding tears at his too prema- ture funeral. Qui A DIFFERENCE. Countryman —"Are you a freak of nature?” Tattooed woman —" No, sir; I'm simply a freak of the dime mu- seum.” HER VALUABLES GONE. Actress —"\'m afraid our season won't be much of a success, Mr. Billboard.” Manager —" Oh, yes, it will. 1 have booked you at all the leading theatres in the country.” Actress —" Yes, that's all right; but somebody broke into my room last night and stole all my decrees of divorce.” comicbooks.com