Judge — September 14, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

364 HUM OF THE COURT. HE BEST REMEDY for the bite of a rattlesnake is to keep away from the bite. ON THE WHOLE, the fate of Aleck Hamilton is rather better than that of Robert Ray. ONE IS half inclined, in view of the parade of 100,000 strikers in London, to inquire if free trade is free strike. ONYBEARE might get along with the ordinary vermin of the Londonderry jail, but there is Mr. Balfour. "T, LOUIS is very ambitious ; but we must say that Brooklyn can beat her in bur- glary every night in the week. THE VESSELS captured in Behring sea carry off so many of our prize-crews that we shall soon be without a navy. THE PROHIBITIONIST is the most in- temperate of men, for he gets his inspira- tion solely from his own malice and vanity. BRIDGE-JUMPER wants $3,000 as pay for going over the falls of Niagara. We should think he could. raise a hundred thou- sand at least, MBS. HILL-SHARG RY ought to join hands with Mrs, Leslie Carter on the stage, and both ought to succeed or die -with their boots on. B. ANTHONY says she is not sixty-nine years old. What if she is, and twice that? Is not a thing of beauty a jaw for- ever? LEADING BROKER wants to abolish gambling at Saratoga. Is there to be a Wall-street gambling monopoly, or trust ? REPORTER gave a two-column account of a prize-fight that didn’t come off; whereupon the editor said the reporter had better do it himself. ‘THE MAN who wants to use Central park for the world’s fair is the identical man who thought it would be a good idea to put the bull in the china-shop. MAN in Massachusetts thinks he is destined to marry every single woman in the United States, and a benedict in Rhode Island is mad because he won't take the married ones too. A DEBATING SOCIETY out west has decided that the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the garden was unjust. Ordered that the case be reopened, argument for a new trial to begin at once, do be in the same perdicament as these CURIOUS. “*Why, John, these gloves are not mates.” now they're not, Miss; and what troubles me most is, the other pair what's in on the table THE EDITOR of the Albany Zines says he will not be happy till some body invents a new shoe that will fit like the old one. If he refers to his grandmother's slipper we hope he may get it. THERE IS TALK of an English syndicate to hang American murder- ers. Now patriotism has not altogether died out in this country, and if that project is adopted we shan’t have a murder in ten years. “THERE IS a new story regarding Tascott, the murderer of Millionaire Snell of Chicago. We do not refer to the story that he hasn't been caught, but to the fact that one of the Pinkertons says somebody else did the murder, . SHERIFF FLACK officiated personally at the recent hanging of four men in this"town, and at a time when he had reason to fear the law himself; but we must not infer that he will ever be president of the United States. A THOMPSON-STREET STAMPEDE. , Simrson (entering) —"* Say, fellers, maik yo'selbes scarce! De perlise am comin’ up stairs on a dead run.” Simpson (to himself) —"" Lord saiks ! If dis ain’t de best luck I eber had at pokah den mah name ain't Pete Simpson.” comicbooks.com