Judge — July 20, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUMPING AT A CONCLUSION. Faraer Honpuck (who has often seen the hammock from a distance) —"* \t them city boarders call this comfort, I reck'n they won't kick if T take back our ole hair mattress an’ give 'm corn-husks t' sleep'on.” uAN IMPORTANT OMISSION. B ge, you May announce my marriage.” “ Fact, dear boy ; everything is settled—decided on,. I've even bought the ¢rousseau. Only one thing remains to be done.” “ And what is that ? “To find the girl GOOD FOR HIM SHE WASN'T. 4¢ JOHNNY is an awful boy,” s Brown, He hasn't sat still a. moment this whole blessed day “If Twas his mother,” returned Mrs. Slipper, “he wouldn't sit still for a whole month.” HARD TO PLEASE. se HIS IS a nice horse you sold me,” said Sniggs. “Why, his ribs are coming out of his sides. “Well,” replied the dealer, “ you couldn't expect them to come out anywhere else, could you AEN : THE LATEST FROM NIAGARA FALLS. TAcKMan (on a very warm day Fifty cents, boss.” RuFFALO TOURIST—" What for HAackMAN—"' You an’ der gal has been standin’ in der shade of my cab fer ten minutes.” 237 A SATISFACTORY BALANCE, BACHELOR of forty he, A man of culture, pride, and wealth; A maid of twenty summers she, With sparkling eyes and glowing health, He wooed, but not as others have, With loving words more sweet than true, He laid his bank-book in her hand, ‘And merely turned to" Balance due.” She raised her eyes ; his cause was won— ‘A maid of sterling sense was she, He clasped her to his manly breast, And now a married man is he. THAT ACCOUNTS FOR IT. se THAT ACTOR you introduced me to,” remarked Giles, “ean drink more than any man I ever met.” “He belongs to the new school, you know,” returned Merritt, “He's a tank actor. MADE TO FEEL AT HOME. S THERE anybody here who wants to sce the man with the bad eye?” he bellowed, as he came into the bar-room where the boys were discussing politic In an instant six revolvers were pulled.“ boys,” he said; “because if ; you didn't want to see me I was going right back home.” TOO MUCH OF THIS NONSENSE. nk (of the firm of Sink & Swim) -—" Well, Mr. Gilhooly, we don’t need a man just now; but if you will work for the salary we have spoken about I will hire you, on one condition.” Gilhooly "1 atcept. me it. Sink —" That you will not have the daily papers an- nounce that you ‘have ac- cepted a very advantageous offer from Sink & s COULDN'T GET IT THERE. Woman—" Aren't you |, my good m much will give you Tramp— quantity nev digestion. It's quality what does that.” HAD NO POCK! Bessie—" Mow did “Tie come to lose your AN AQUACAUST. fare?" _ Mr. Bexover (looking out of deadelight the morning after the boys have bidden him ton voyage) —"* Croton water-pipes mushter TWO VIEWS. Justed, Chill up (hicgle) shtreetsh like zhat.”" S6\YJHAT do you think of my new hat, Maria . dollars.” “It's. nice hat, Adolph; bute lars isa good deal of money.” Two hours later. Maria, I got a bill to-day for that freak of a bonnet of yours—cleven dollars, ‘That's extortionate. Oh, no, it isn't, Adolph, dollars isn't much money." INCREDIBLE, Wife —"V've just been reading of the suicide of a man because his wife said something he didn’t like. ‘They had been married over twenty years, too. Husband —" | don't believe it Wife —" Don't believe he committed suicide?” Husband —" No; don’t believe they had been married twenty yea comicbooks.com