Judge — May 25, 1889 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE 115 A New York flat-owner advertised, as usual, that he would rent only to people who had no children. His flats were soon filled and he congratulated himself that no childish voices were to be heard in the halls. One day, a few weeks later, he came around to collect the rent, and nearly dropped dead when he found that two families had been blessed with triplets, four with twins, and seven with single babies. He has lost all his con- fidence in the human race, and now goes about with lowered head, as a man who has been deeply wronged. —Peck's Sun. When Baby was sick, wo gave her Castoria. When she was a Child, ahe cried for Castoria, When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, When she bad Children, abe gave them Castoria THE RIGHT SORT OF A GIRL. ‘The lass who goes to college, yet who knows just what to do With vegetable-marrows and with cocky-locky, too, Who can muse on the digamma or nu ephelkustikon, Yet never be unmindful that the porridge-pot is on The girl who's up in pudding and in pies and politics, Who can compound a gravy or confound church here- tics, Talk right feelingly of Heget or knowingly of Kant, And yet be with her cookery-book as deeply conversant ; ‘The maiden who can charm you with Bach or Mendels- sohn, Knows when the moon’s in apogee, can quote Anacreon, And yet can boil potatoes, knows when a turnip's done, Can mold the restful doughnut and the festive currant bun; And the mathematic maiden who can criticise Laplace, Or whose chemical dexterity can analyze a gas, Who can also sew a button where a button ought to be, And, if needful, wield the duster and the broomstick ‘skillfully And she, the best and dearest, whose native common sense Escheweth ice-cream blandishments, the caramel’s ex- pense, Who quoteth Dio Lewis, goeth early to her bed, And riseth in the morning with a clear and cheerful head, =G. Inglis in Good Housekeeping. Ladies take Angostura Bitters generally wh feel low-spirited. It brightens them up. & Sons, sole manufacturers. they Dr. Siegert Atall druggists, WHAT HE CAN DO WITHOUT. “Tis now the sunbeams come and wake To life the sleeping flowers ; ‘Tis now the bees melodious make The listless sylvan hours ; "Tis now the birds’ gay mu The woodlands to rep! “Tis now the tramp is up in‘arms For cold roast-beef and pie. ‘Tis now the violet looks out ‘And shames the azure sky ‘Tis now the insects haste about For winter to supply ; ‘Tis now within the vault so blue Soft, fleecy clouds do float ; "Tis now (oh, joy !) the youth can do Without his overcoat, —Merchant Traveler. Mr, Brief—'Vour uncle has that you shall have one cent.”” Mr. Spendthrift—" Good, kind uncle!" den alarm.) ‘Are you sure, Mr. Brie! feit?"—Harper's Bazar. rected in his will (In sud- it isn't counter “Oh, look, George, they are hangin’ out an ice-cream sign across the street.” ‘The words were few and softly spoken, and yet they took all the brightness out of the spring ‘sunshine, all the music from the song-birds’ notes, all the melody from the vernal zephyr, and all the change out of George's pocket. An after-dinner orator recently mixed Sir Walter Scott and Pope in a rather amusing but trite manner. In his peroration he quoted : Oh, woman, in our hours of ease! Uncertain, coy, and hard to please ; But seen too oft, familiar with her face, We first endure, then pity, then embrace. ‘A Frog who had his Home in a Puddle by the Way- side Made such an Ado one night as a Traveler passed that way that the Man was Fain to stop and Inquire the Occasion of it. ‘Had I not made such a noise. you would not have known of my Presence,” replied the Frog. ‘But now that I do know, what of it?” quer- ied the Man. ‘Why, Tam here.” “Yes, but what are the odds to me where you are? You are but a Frog, place yourself where you will.” Moral: The Man whose Mouth makes his Presence known is seldom con- sidered worth minding.—Detroit Free Press. | And there's a big demand ag: When the small boy goes in swimming in a costume of the mode That was worn by fair Godiva when through Coventry she rode, When yachts are fitting out for going on their summer cruise, for low-cut tennis shoes, “Tis sweet to sit beside the sea and listen to the yells ‘That rise when crabs have fastened to the tootsies of the belles, —Boston Courier. THE KODAK. ANYBODY can use the Kopak. The operation of mak- ing a picture consists simply of pressing a button. One Iun- dred instantaneous pictures are made without re-loading. No dark room or chemicals neces- sary. A division of labor is offered, whereby all the work of finishing the pictures is done at the factory, where the camera can be sent to be re-loaded. ‘The operator need not learn anything about photography. He can “press the button —zwe do the rest. Send for copy of Kopak Primer, with sample photo- graph, THR EASTMAN DRY PLATE AND PILM CO, Rochester, N. Y. PRICE $25.00. THE CELEBRATED PIANOS ‘Are at'peesent the Most Popular and Preferred by Leading Artists Warerooms, 149, 151, 153, 155 East 14th St, W. ¥. Ss SOHMER & CoO., 1, Pa., 1103 Chestnut Street; Curcaco, Tur. ‘Saw Francesco, Cat., Union Club Building $22 Olive Street; Kansas City, Mo., 1123, Things are looking up in New York. ‘The mayor has ordered the dead timber to be chopped down in Broad- way and other cattle-trails, and is making efforts to boom the town in several ways besides.—Chicago News. Miss Plainum—"That horrid Mrs. Bute actually had her photographs for sale in the stationers’ shops. I couldn't do such a thing under any consideration.” Her bitterest friend —* You haven't the face to, have you, dear ?”— Terre Haute Express, “So you are at your old tricks, are you?" said the detective as he arrested the three-card-monte man. ** Yes ; but it was necessity that drove me to it.” Ne- cessity?” ‘I didn't have a dollar, I went to a church fair last night and got beat out of every cent I had in the Merchant Traveler, Mr. Poorfellow (sadly)—"* Miss Mainchance, I've nothing but my good name to offer you, but I love you passionately and well. Will you be my wife?” Miss Mainchance sweetly) —"* Come around again in another month, Mr. Poorfellow. If Mr. Tenmillion doesn't propose by that time I will be your true, loving wile." —Philadelphia Inquirer, “DANDRUFF should never be neglected, be~ cause its natural end is in BALDNESS.” “The istence of ITCHING jis peace-de- Sroying and exhausting to the vital powers.” SCRATCHING is not nice, nor half as satisfying asa SHAMPOO wit PACKER'S Tar Soap which allays Tiching, cures Dandruff and Skin Diseases, pre- Vents Baldness and leaves the skin delightfully smooth, soft, clastic and health{ul. Removes odors from perspiration, etc. 25 cents. Druggisis, or THE PACKER MFG. CO., 100 Fulton 8t., NewYork. ‘Sample (half cake), toc. stamps, if Juoce is mentioned. VISITORS TO EUROPE TIFFANY & CO., Union Square, New York. Suggest to visitors to the International Exposition that they will find one of the interesting attractions of Paris a visit to their estab- lishment, 36 bis AVENUE de L’OPERA Where can be seen probably the largest, most valuable and comprehensive collec- tion of Precious Stones and rich Jewelry for sale in Eu- rope. In addition to the advan- tage of so large a stock to select from, purchasers have the security of the full en- dorsement guarantees and ,Privileges given by the New York House. YOUMANS CELEBRATED HATS. Style and Quality Unequaled. 180—719—1107 Broadway. Hn the Regd Court ef Justice —comncttv. Durrant —On Jan. 24, Yar Mr Justice Chitty granted « Perpetual Injunction wiih costs Friaining Mr ‘Oores Kernoige Durrant from infnsing Meer ‘Tous Ouautll & Got Megulered Trede Mark CHEMBY BLOWOOM comicbooks.com