Judge, 1889-04-27 · page 12 of 28
Judge — April 27, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the planning of Washington's Inaugural Centennial celebration (likely 1889). The top cartoon shows a society couple where the woman refuses the man's escort after he forgot tickets and carriage arrangements—mocking upper-class pretension. The main text is a humor column titled "Gossip Regarding the Washington Inaugural Centennial Celebration." It ridicules the committee's mismanagement through absurdist anecdotes: accepting worthless "contributions" (puns on "continental"), employing dubious "body servants," hacking Washington's swords to prove he fought, and selling two-cent stamps at fifty cents each. The satire targets both the committee's incompetence and American greed—the Astors won't donate, New York police refuse colonial uniforms, and everything has a price. The accompanying sketch shows period characters discussing a tableau, with one noting Washington can't attend the celebration—a final jab at the event's fundamental absurdity. The tone is lighthearted ridicule of civic mismanagement and mercenary commemorative excess.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TAKEN Me. Brercier—" You'll pardon me for forgetting to bring the tickets and for my neglect in not ordering the carriage in time. supper checks. Shall I take you in now ? Miss Heatitcore: (svet/y)—" Not any more until I reqover a little, please. GOSSIP REGARDING THE WASHINGTON INAUGURAL. CENTENNIAL CELEBRATION. JEREMIAH SKAGGS has sent a horn to the committee upon which his grandfather blew when Washington passed through Trenton. ‘The horn is historical, as General Washington requested it to be removed, to- gether with Skaggs's grandsire, out of his hearing, The committee in declining worth- less contributions say that they are not worth a continental. Forty-seven body servants of Washington have been secured, all of them in their prime of life. It is no use for inventors to send new-fangled dynamite guns for the ex- hibition, They are undoubtedly ana- chronisms. Silver spoons from which Wash- ington is said to have eaten must wear the marks-of his teeth to prove that they are genuine. The Astors have declined to send their fortune to aid in the display, al- though their ancestor made most of it a hundred years ago. The swords which General Wash- ington carried are in the hands of a blacksmith, who is hacking them in or- der to show the people what a fighter the general was. As no two portraits of Washing- ton look alike, it has been wisely de- cided that only two-cent stamps, bear- ing his protile, will be exhibited. These will then be sold for fifty cents each Oldest inhabitants are requested to send their addresses to the com- vest pocket.”” I don’t believe this show is gi Why not?” “T just heard George Washington tell Gen- eral Gates he didn't have a cigar, and I saw two sticking out of his IN ALL AROUND. By the way, I couldn't secure mittee, but not to apply in person. It is believed that the names are to be secured, so that the oldest inhabitants can be kept from buying ball-tickets. Ice from the Delaware river will be used to freeze the ice-cream for the great ball, which will be served in the shape of medallions, bearing the historic picture. A belt which General Washington gave toa British soldier at Bunker hill will not be exhibited, as the soldier expired from its effects. It is universally regretted that Washington cannot be present at the celebration. New York policemen will not be attired in continental uniform on that day. The police object. A phonograph will grind out Washington's farewell address on the day of the celebration at the rate of twenty-five cents per farewell. The committee beg leave to state that they have plenty of centennial poems. All MSS. received without stamps will be destroyed. Gentlemen wearing wigs will be furnished with ball-tickets free of cost if they will consent to exchange their ordinary wigs for powdered perukes. Arrangements have been made with the signal-service bureau so that only thirteen stars will be seen in the heavens on the night of April 3oth. This is in memory of the thirteen original states. to go.” His youth has never ceased, Him joy has never missed, Who could always kiss the girls he pleased ‘And please the girls he kissed. comicbooks.com